Everyone has faith in something—not just religious people. I appreciate that Tim Keller relieves us with the converse: everyone has doubts too. A Christian who doesn’t doubt, wrestle, and struggle with his faith is in denial, since doubt is part of the very essence of faith.

I love Stephen in Acts, he has to be my favorite character in the Bible (ok, second favorite). It is written that he is a man “full of faith and of the Holy Spirit.” It is a daily prayer of mine that God would help my unbelief (give me faith); to this I’m now adding that he would fill me with the Holy Spirit. I too would like to be a man whom detractors could not stand up against because of wisdom or the Spirit within me. When others look at me I would like them also to see something like the face of an angel. I would like to boldly proclaim the faith as one completely unafraid of the response. I would like to be one, even in the face of death itself, who has so fixed his eyes on things above that I see my God and not my enemies. And most of all, I would like to be one who can say under the most severe persecution, perhaps even by friends or family, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

A young man’s life is so dark, he doesn’t know where to turn, he doesn’t know what to do because of a relational breakup. A lady is distraught because a close family member is seriously ill and is all the way across the country—right before Christmas. A good friend just lost his job, and will likely lose his house—just after the birth of their first child. Christian or not, we all have periods of darkness and despair in our lives. And even those who trust in God through Christ often wonder where he is in those times, or how he can relate.

In an old war movie, a soldier has lost his leg in battle and is recovering in a field hospital. I don’t remember all the details, but he is furious. Furious at his commanding officer standing in front of him who sent him into battle. Furious because he can’t live, he can’t survive like this. This is the reaction in Isaiah 8 of those who “become enraged and, looking upward, curse their king and their God. Yet, Hebrews 4:15 tells us that “we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. How in the world can Jesus help with a broken relationship? A loved one walking through the shadow of death? A lost job, home, or limb?

In the movie, the commanding officer was silent throughout this tirade. But at a certain point, he reached down and pulled up his own pant leg to reveal a prosthetic limb. It has been years since I watched this (I will again soon), but all I remember was the silence and understanding from the recently injured soldier. Here he was complaining to someone who had been through the same trial, yet had never once complained. If his leader survived through this, he could too.

What we forget is that Jesus didn’t just lose friend or house or job or limb. He lost his life—for our sakes. And he suffered infinitely beyond what we could imagine by taking the full wrath of God on his shoulders. Jesus suffered through, and conquered death that we might be freed from its power. Now, no matter the circumstance for those who trust in him, we can look to him our guide and counselor, we can look to him who suffered far worse, we can look to him who will walk through our trial with us, and when we can no longer walk, we can look to him who will carry us home.

White Man Can't Jump

This week at the grocery store I couldn’t quite see the contents on the sign for aisle six, so I jumped up over aisle five for a better look and found what I needed: pasta. I immediately thought: “I wouldn’t have done that a week ago. Even then, my vertical was only a few inches, but when I get a sinus or chest infection, I trudge through life as if going through the motions. I don’t do anything extra—I don’t want to do anything at all, least of all jump up in the air. For some reason, God puts me through the ringer when I am under the weather.

Psalm 119:71 tells us, “It was good for me to be afflicted.” I believe the past tense is indicated here for a reason. When King David was right in the middle of suffering, when I am a sick zombie, when any of us are in the middle of a trial, it is difficult to recognize any goodness. We want it to be over, we pray for it to be over, we sometimes get angry at God.

Here, it seems as if David is looking back at a trial, contemplating the outcome, the consequences, and what he learned, and he says, “It was good for me to be afflicted.” Can we not often do the same thing, though our attention spans are short, and we are quick to move back into the routine of life—speeding by the lessons of God’s sweet providence.
I realized this last month, I somehow feel more compassionate and loving toward others when I am sick. Perhaps it is because God is stripping away my activity, my works, my service which pops the bubble of my pride and shows me that I am no better than anyone else.

Father, show me how good it is that you afflict me. And not only after the fact, but may it be that in the midst of suffering I can sense your hand, your love, your protection, your good purposes, and say, “It is good for me to be afflicted.

What is it that allows me to submit to my leaders? I have had disagreements with Bush, and I will have disagreements with Obama. What allows us to submit to them, respect them, and pray for them? Eph 1:15-23 tells us in part: “His incomparably great power is for us who believe, even the power which God exerted in Christ by raising him from the dead. Christ has been raised far above all rule and authority, power and dominion."

We have that same power (in Christ) and will be raised and seated with him. Yet this is not just a future but also a present reality (v. 22?)! It is as if while we are under earthly authorities at the same time we are seated with Christ, hidden in him, far above all rule and authority on earth.

Tonight little Benjamin woke up scared. We have a relatively small house, but it seems like such a long walk across at 3 a.m. I comforted him, patted him on the head, and made the long trek back. Right when my head hit my pillow I heard his cry begin again. I thought, "A pat on the head won't do this trick. This is a job for a midnight snack."

In one way we are like Benjamin—as soon as we receive comfort for one ailment, we are busy complaining about another. I have my own little problems that seem so big to me—jet lag from India, another cold-turned-infection, perhaps brought on from the travel. Lower back pain—strangely tied to fighting off the infection, and now a sleepless night thanks to my son—and perhaps the caffeine of chocolate cake.

1 Thessalonians teaches us, "Be joyful always, pray continually, in everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It was that "in Christ Jesus" that caught my attention this morning as I was reluctantly reading Scripture while feeling sorry for myself.
How in the world can I be joyful right now? Because I am in Christ Jesus. Why should I pray? Because I am in Christ Jesus. And how can I be thankful to God—even for my suffering? Because I am in Christ Jesus. Being in Christ Jesus is like having a bubble of protection surrounding you. Anything that gets in can only get in by God's explicit permission, and that which gets in can only be for your good if you are in Christ Jesus.

Where is the Power?

I read Acts 1:8 this morning—“…and you shall receive power.” I thought, “God, why don’t I feel this power? Actually, some days I feel downright weak and worthless.” I thought of a friend who recently told me he generally thinks very poorly of himself. He is probably also wondering where this power is. But I was also reminded of how Christ experienced this power. He who is God incarnate was homeless, scorned by many, and abandoned by friends late in life. Jesus was fully human—could it be that he was even tempted to wonder where the power of God was, as he was deserted and led to the cross?

I thought also of Martin Luther, one of the fathers of the reformation. He did so much for the church, but I’m sure that in his lifetime he did not feel like much of a hero. Who knows what problems he suffered from—depression, for one, I am sure. He locked himself in his room for days on end, he once went more than a year without changing clothes. I am realizing that this power given to believers will not always (or often?) come to us in the form we desire. This is God’s economy. He who is last shall be first. What seems down is up. What seems the road to humiliation will lead to exaltation.

In a strange way, when we feel poorly about ourselves it is actually an expression of pride—as if to say, “What I think of myself is more important than what God thinks of me.” And this is where faith comes in. It is not easy to believe in that which we do not feel and that which we cannot see. While God rejoices over us and counts us as holy and blameless, we experience insecurity, addictions and fear. But the amazing thing is that he never quits and he never gives up on us. I believe in his love a little bit one day, a lot the next, not at all the next…then I realize he is still there. I confess my unbelief, try to bask in his love, while praying at the same time that he would help my unbelief. I am so glad that it is not the strength of our faith, but the presence of our faith that matters—no matter how weak at times.

Americans are always looking for…something else. If we have an apartment, we want a house. If we have a house, we're looking for a bigger one. A better job, a more exciting boyfriend or girlfriend, a longer vacation. I’m struck by how often we look to the government (or a particular party) to provide for us. I’m old enough now to look back and see how the pendulum often swings in government—to this party one year, to that party another, always looking for something better, something different, something else. I wonder if the opposing slogan in four or eight years will be “change.”

Some people today are ecstatic and shedding tears of joy over Obama, others have a deep sense of dread and despair. Either way, Psalm 146 can help temper either our excitement or dread: “Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them-- the LORD, who remains faithful forever.”

In a sense, there is nothing new under the sun, every leader in history has come to the same end (except one), the pendulum swings again, and he or she is replaced with another. So, whether you are elated or dejected today, look to the one who remains constant, who will not let you down, who is creator of all and is sovereign over all.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13:8

I Will Build My Church

“Thou art the Christ,” said Peter, in answering his Lord who he believed He was. “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven…and I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church” (Mt 16:17-18).

As exciting as India was (you will find some pictures to the right), it would be easy to get discouraged . I saw with my own eyes over 100 congregations being impacted through Biblical training for their pastors, in many cases the first formal training they have ever received. One could wonder, however, how many more churches are there without trained leaders? How much false teaching is going on in such a massive country with over a billion people? How can anyone come to believe in Christ in such an environment? Jesus gives the answer: It is not dependent upon man, it is not dependent upon perfect doctrine; my Father will reveal himself to whomever he chooses, and I will build my church.

This is a good lesson for me here in the US too. My effectiveness in ministry is not dependent upon my skills, and gifts, and oratory ability. God will reveal himself to whom he chooses, and He will build his church—not me. And if God is for me, and with me, who can be against me?
God, help me to trust completely in you. Help me to gladly step aside and simply point others to you in confidence—knowing that you will accomplish your purposes in every single facet of every relationship I have with others.

India Update #5

• Yesterday afternoon we watched the fishermen come in with their spoils, help each other pull their boats up on shore, and carry their trophy fish up the hill to the fish auction. Many were large, one was huge and went for $120, one was an octopus, flies were everywhere. They are hard workers and seem to enjoy what they do.
  
  But as Bangalore had shanties made of cardboard and metal siding, Muttom has homes made of woven palm fronds. You can imagine how long they lasted in the Tsunami. Many have been rebuilt in the absence of another place to stay, and after having looked in several today, I would rather live in my Coleman tent.
  
  And so Homes of Hope has built over 400 small but solid homes for villagers in Muttom and surrounding villages. Over 100 more are currently under construction, and we witnessed ceilings being poured (concrete) and walls being painted today. Right in the middle of this Roman Catholic stronghold, this evangelical group is still building homes. They say many secular aid groups have come and gone, but now comes the true test of showing the love of Christ—the long haul.
  
  The plan is that in the very near future a church planter can come down to follow up, reach out, and shepherd these people who have heard the gospel, and received homes.
  
  Almost time to fly home. Let me summarize the situation and needs for prayer for my church, other churches, and other individuals who may want to get involved through prayer and action:
  
• There is a need, of course, for funds. There is a never-ending stream of street children in need of love, homes, food, and the gospel. House parents are needed to love and care for these children, houses need to be identified or built.
  
• There is a need for interns to come love these children for a month, or semester, or year.
  
• There is unbelievable opportunity to organize, mentor, and train pastors in the southern 2/3 of India. I can not stress this enough: I saw 100 young pastors this week who are hungry for training, passionate about their work, and unafraid of potential persecution. Local resources are vastly insufficient, and for the time being, teachers are needed from the US.
• Women are also needed to come alongside the less educated wives, trained men are needed to teach seminars for one or two weeks at a time. What a great ministry it would be for a pastor in the US to say, “I’m going to let God use me, and learn what God is doing around the world, by committing to travel to India for one or two weeks each year to teach these men, as long as there is need.
  
  Pray that God would send laborers into his harvest…and maybe you are one of them.

India Update #4

Bangalore was massive--the stalls, shops, and rickshaws simply went on and on and on. Religious tension has steadily grown there. The Presbyterian church started a children's club for 30 children in town. In a short time it was shut down simply because the children were not allowed to come--whether through direct or indirect pressure from Hindu leaders.

The southern fishing village of Muttom, in contrast to Bangalore is sleepy, quiet and peaceful (we arrived here late last night). Still, an American jogging through the village this morning in tennis shoes and a headband woke many of them up. Eight out of ten simply stare, one frowns noticeably, one waves. Religious tension here takes another form. This southern tip is 99% Roman Catholic, and if someone converts to Protestantism, they are ostracized from the village. At the same time, new jobs and improved prosperity has decreased the importance of the village, and some are sensing a new freedom to think for themselves.

India Update #3

We have flown to Bangalore and attended worship at Bangalore Presbyterian Church yesterday. It is amazing how many Indians will fit into such a space, and how little they need in terms of resources.
Some say persecution has been slowly spreading beyond Orissa. One of those in attendance is another pastor in Bangalore. He has had worship services shut down by the police, his house is watched, and they have moved services to a new location. A state political party is on the rise and they have strong Hindu/nationalistic leanings. Yet, this pastor has baptized six new Christians last month.

This morning we went to a street child drop-in center and met at length with four children to hear their stories. Each story has some combination of physical abuse and the loss of one or both parents. Two of the kids ran away when they were sevan and eight, which is absolutely heart wrenching for anyone with children that age. One kid earned some money on the street and had his arm pulled out of the socket by older kids who wanted the money. The state hospital simply casted his arm as is. The church found out and took him to receive proper care, and later reunited the child with his mother. The ministry here has plans for children's homes with house parents when they can can raise the funds.

This afternoon we sat in on another seminar for local pastors--30 in attendance. One traveled from 800 km away to receive this training, and this is his fifth month. Now I am sitting at Paul Billy's home, the missionary we support, having a delicious meal of spaghetti and fried chicken (with curry). Tomorrow we fly south to see Homes for Hope, homes which are being built still for tsunami victims.

India Update #2

India is fast becoming industrialized, but it is still fun to see rickshaws, ox-drawn carts, goat herds crossing the street, and cows grazing freely in highway medians. I'm not sure how many more years these sights will be seen. Today we drove five hours north of Chennai to a village of 500 families. Here there is a Presbyterian church which today innaugurated the Presbyterian Theological Institute and which will share the same block building.

The music of the innauguration service was beautiful--Christian lyrics with a hint of traditionally Indian style and sound. The crowd was overflowing out the doors, and after the message 25 students came up front to receive a gift (a notebook and pen) as they begin their studies. In most cases these are current pastors of various denominations who are glad to have the training. Classes will be one full week, once each month for a year. It was unreal to see so many young pastors gathered in a small, rural village, commited to teach and study their faith in a country so dominated by Hinduism for many centuries.

I spoke with one young pastor after the service who converted from Hinduism at age 19, and now he pastors a church of 80 people 12 hours away. He came for this innauguration service, to get his notebook and pen, and he will return once a month for a year. Twelve hours. And I get frustrated on my way to church if I catch the light at the Super Target.

India Update #1

Those interested in my India trip, I’ve arrived safely and we just finished our first full day. No, I didn’t lose my passport in the airport like Bill Martin. I one-upped him and left it in a cab. Miraculously, we ran it down across town and got back to our home base in a motorized rickshaw. On Bill’s previous advice, I gave a substantial tip.

Chennai India is huge— 6 to 7 million people. The traffic is heavy, the streets are dirty, the people are friendly (especially cab drivers). We attended a seminar today put on by the new church planting network. About 40 young Indian pastors (and pastors in training) were in attendance to receive some of their first formal training ever (on Covenant Theology today, no less).

I talked with several during a break, and one baptized six former Hindus in August. The church is growing fast here, almost at the same rate as in China. A couple reasons are given: First, with increased wealth, the class system has broken down somewhat. There has been something of a revolt in the bottom class, and they are realizing they can be free from the caste system (thus having opportunities to improve their position in life) by leaving Hinduism. Unfortunately, sometimes their answer is Buddhism, but often they turn to the church.

Another reason for the growth of the church is that Hinduism does not have real answers to many of life’s difficult questions. Why is their suffering, for example? How good is good enough? What guarantee do I have to a better reincarnation? Christianity offers a rational system of thought for many who are searching and using their minds in India.

I was most struck today by the Indian national leaders who presented their vision to us for hundreds of new churches in the next 10 years. They had such excitement in their faces, such enthusiasm, such energy, such zeal for the glory of the Lord. I believe I am exactly where God wants me to be, but do I have such a heart and attitude?

Right Where We Want Them

“We’ve got them just where we want them.” I don’t know who was the first to utter this line in sarcasm when all in reality seemed lost, seems it was a war hero. John McCain is the most recent in a political battle, pointing out his underdog status to Obama.

Anything could happen in politics, but for the Apostle Paul, everything could easily have seemed lost while writing to the Colossians from prison. He is the successful Apostle, church-planter, hero of the faith, and God has him…in prison?! He could be so useful if he were out! he could do so much more as a free man! Instead of such thoughts, he is on the offense while in chains, and he acts as if he has his enemies right where he wants them. From prison he sends greetings from other prisoners (Col 4:10), he encourages them to read his letter to other churches (Col 4:16), and he continues to instruct the churches in how to live.

Perhaps his instructions in prayer are most revealing and convicting. He writes in 4:2, “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” And, “pray that a door for our release may be opened speedy that I may be more effective in the work of our Lord.” No, he doesn’t say the latter sentence at all. He writes, “Pray that God may open a door for our message so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly as I should.”

I have always been amazed that Paul doesn’t ask them explicitly for his release. Surely it would not have been sinful for him to do so. Sometimes we do find prayers in Scripture that God would change and improve the circumstances of believers. But the overarching purposes of Paul’s prayers are spiritual, not physical, with an eternal perspective clearly in mind. He even indicates it was good that he was in prison to the Philippians, because many in prison had trusted in Christ as a result.

So, as I prepare to embark for India, it would not be wrong to pray for “travel mercies,” for safety, for flight transfers, for my baggage and toothbrush to arrive intact. Instead, I ask for prayers in the vein of the Apostle Paul. I ask for prayers that God would open a door for our message. This message in south India is not that of Americans riding in to save the day, but it is first and foremost from the mouths of local, indigenous Indian pastors, and pastors in training—as they faithfully share Christ and start churches in their cities and villages. And pray that we might encourage them in their work, coming along side them in a small way for 10 days…perhaps learning how to be more bold upon our return as a result of our fellowship together.

Making an Impact in Missions. Really.

When I was in the business world (Human Resources) I managed the divisions’ charitable contributions. We wanted good community relations, and what I inherited (and didn't dare to change) was a long, long list of organizations that we supported on an annual basis. The problem was, the amount for each was $25, or $50, or $100 per year.

In my experience, too many churches do the same with their missions fund. They receive dozens of requests for support (many good causes), and instead of feeling guilty they squeeze another one into their already long list of supported people and groups. Just to mention one drawback, the missionary has so many churches to keep up with, they cannot possibly visit them all when on furlough. And the church has so many missionaries they support, they cannot possibly pray for and care for each one in any meaningful way.

As difficult as it is to do, I am thrilled to see that our church is different. We limit the number of people and organizations we support with a passion. But it is not because we don’t care, rather because where we do give support, we want it to be meaningful, significant and impactful. One such example (on our short list) is southern India. Because of personal connections with a church planter there, we have sent multiple individuals and teams to teach, build and heal over the last few years.

Now MTW is establishing a partnership with this same church-planting organization in South India, and I am joining a group of pastors and elders to see how we can best support this movement. Lord willing, we will make an even more significant impact, now in coordination with about 20 other churches who want to pray for and see God work in a significant way in India, where it is already evident that God’s Spirit is at work.

I leave Tuesday the 21st on this 10 day trip, and if I have access to a computer along the way, I will try to send updates. So check back!

“You Have to Find Another Preacher”

I don’t mean to alarm you if you are in my church; I’m not talking about myself. In Mark 6 Jesus says to his disciples, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” We think often of Jesus’ public ministry of teaching and healing, and I find it fascinating that he, along with his disciples needed rest. (It is equally fascinating that when he got to his secret place of “rest,” many people were there waiting on him, and he dove in to care for them.)

Later that chapter he went up on a mountainside to pray (v. 46). And in chapter 9, “Jesus did not want anyone to know where they were, because he was teaching his disciples (v. 30).” I will never forget a message I heard from John Stott who suggested every pastor should take one day a month, and one week a year to be alone—to rest, pray, study, read and plan. I had one such morning (a good start at least) yesterday, and I am finding more and more that these are so critical to recharging and refocusing me to that which is most important.

One of the church fathers, St. Jerome pastured a large church and we can only imagine he was an extremely busy man (c.347-420). One day he went to his congregation and said, “Now it is of necessity that the New Testament should be translated, you must find another preacher.”
Now I have no immediate plans to write a new English translation of the Bible. But whether it is for special study, to spend time with family, extensive prayer, or translation work, it is so important for pastors to take breaks, and for their churches to support them in it.

Open and Closed Doors

Sometimes God leads us through open and closed doors in our lives. For example we say, “I’ll go to medical school if God opens the door,” or, “Pray that God would open a door to share Christ with my neighbor.” I believe we see this in Colossians 4:3 where Paul writes, “And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ.”

But I came across 1 Corinthians 16:8-9 in my reading this week, also from Paul: “But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.” It is simply fascinating to me that Paul sees that a door is ‘open’ which will lead to great opposition. I’m quite sure that if I had an opportunity to serve Christ, but there was a bomb threat, or picketers, or people who hated my message –I’m quite sure I would see that as a door firmly closed and securely locked. But with Paul, there is no conflict.

Is it possible that we trust too much in looking exclusively to the open and closed doors of our circumstances? How many doors do we see as closed which are really wide open? Or open which we see as firmly closed? It has been said that there are some open doors that we should not walk through, and some closed doors that we should break down.

Lord, grant me wisdom, based on the wisdom of your Word, to see which open doors you would have me shut and which you would have me run through; which you would have me open, and which you would have me bust down, for your glory alone.

Sanitation Outreach

It has been said in recent years that Christians should be the best environmentalists around. If it is true that God is our creator and has given us access to the resources of the world—not to rape, but to utilize for our good and his glory—then we ought to pursue lifestyles of moderation, protection, and good stewardship of everything around us.

Last week I realized that our care for our environment should not be seen as an isolated area of our faith, but integrated with an overall view of how we interact with, and reach out to, the world. Care for my environment came to mind recently as I have been jogging within my neighborhood. I began picking up trash around our entrances, and along 17th Street (unfortunately, each time I run I can pick up several handfuls of styrofoam, wood, cups, cans napkins and newspapers).

Here is the connection: I don’t think I would have started picking up trash if I had not joined the neighborhood association board (memories of a Seinfeld episode may come to mind for those around my generation). It is not that I felt obligated to pick up trash as a board member, but because of this new role I had some new heightened awareness that we seek to live in a clean, safe and friendly neighborhood. And here is one more link in my thinking: I would not have pursued this role if God had not called me to be salt and light in the world, and to reach out to my neighbors (Christians should not only be the best environmentalists, but also the best neighbor).

And so I come back to picking up trash. As I picked up a nasty flattened coke can last week I prayed, “God, you are a god of redemption, re-creation, and restoration. Use me in this neighborhood, and would you restore the hearts of these people to yourself as I seek to restore in a very small way the beauty of your creation.”

Guide me, O though great Jehovah, pilgrim through this barren land. No, I am a barren pilgrim, limping through this barren land. This week I was barren to the point of despair due to my utter inability to handle difficult relationships which were in need of a wisdom that appeared far beyond and above my ability to grasp. Sometimes we are barren to the point of despair in our lack of hope, sometimes it is due to our physical circumstances, for example our health.

In 2 Corinthians, Paul was enduring pressure far beyond his ability to despair (2 Cor 1:8). Was it persecution? Definitely. Was it related to his “thorn in the flesh,” some physical suffering? Probably. At any rate, every one of us can relate to this deep despair, so dark that we felt in our hearts “the sentence of death (2 Cor 1:9). A couple in our church is literally facing the sentence of death in the waning days of a painful form of cancer.

So often we ask the question, “Why?” Why is there cancer? Why is there suffering? Why am I depressed? Why do I have to feel overwhelmed? Why don’t I have an answer to give in this seemingly impossible situation? One of the most powerful explanations for answering those questions, and the question of suffering in general, is given in the very same verse: “…But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead .”

Why do I feel overwhelmed in some of my pastoral duties? Why does a loved one have chronic back pain? Why are several friends out of work and feel far beyond hope? Why is this dear couple facing prolonged agony and a certain anticipation of death by one of the most insidious forms of cancer? Why? That they might not rely on themselves but on God, who even raises the dead.

God, I am a barren pilgrim; barren, without hope, under great pressure, far beyond my ability to endure, despairing at times, feeling even the sentence of death. Barren…but for the grace of God. Father, may we not rely on ourselves, but on you who are with us, who sustains us—not only through our trials of life, but even through the very trial of death. The God who literally raises the dead.

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of deaths, and hell’s destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan’s side.
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to Thee;
I will ever give to Thee.

Seeking to Understand the Incomprehensible Grace of God

A grace-centered Bible study I’m working through asks the question, “As God thinks of you right now, what is the look on his face? This is in fact a thought provoking question! The answer given is, “If you imagined God as anything but overjoyed with you, you have fallen into a performance mindset.”

Understanding God is so hard…ok, it’s impossible (Rom 11:34). We have been studying Exodus and have seen how God was not pleased with most of the people who participated in idolatry, complaining and sexual immorality. The NT—rather than saying, “God doesn’t get angry anymore,” in fact uses Exodus as an example and a warning to us (1 Cor 10:1-11)! And how about the prodigal son and his father? Was the father overjoyed while his son had turned his back and was living in sin? Yes, he loved him (evidenced by the reunion), but could anyone imagine the father was overjoyed in the midst of the separation?

Perhaps a big part of the answer lies in Heb 6:9. Where, after a serious warning not to sin and fall away, it is written of true believers, “We are confident of better things in your case.” In other words, true believers will not ultimately continue to slop pigs. They will turn back to the Father. And as our heavenly Father looks on us he sees only the righteousness of Christ. With his perfect knowledge, even in our sin, he sees holiness and perfection, and he knows that we will turn back.

Still, we must hold all of this in tension. As beautiful as the gospel is, if it drives us to become less concerned or less serious about the law, then we never have understood it or been changed by it in the first place.

I praise you, heavenly Father, who weave together these infinitely complex and mysterious strands of thought into a perfectly consistent reality and existence, with perfect justice and perfect interaction with your creatures. You are not obligated to reveal to us exactly how this works; in fact our imperfect knowledge drives us back to you in humble, utter reliance upon your grace.

Something absolutely terrible happens to pastors as they begin to lead a church. It is not intentional or conscious, but it happens in the most subtle way. We forget that what Jesus said to Peter and Andrews also applies to us: “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” We somehow forget that the Great Commission doesn’t just mean make the disciples better disciples, but make new disciples.

I was reminded of this recently when a mother and son set up an appointment to meet with me because of some problems they were having. They were not in the church, and they were clearly not Christians. I have to confess, my first thought was, “I don’t have time for this,” and, “This is a distraction.” After all, I have a sermon to prepare, I have a staff meeting to go to. I have a blog to write.

Thankfully, as they walked in I woke up. God, this is not a distraction. This is exactly what I am called to do. It ought to be my chief delight to listen to people’s problems and have the privilege of sharing the gospel.

God, give me a passion for the lost. May I always have some outlet, some area of my life where I have the opportunity to talk with, and listen to, others with different beliefs. And may I not shrink back from sharing with them the love of Christ. And God, may my church not only encourage me to do so, but join me in it as well!

Sometimes I despair at the indwelling sin in Christians’ lives which seems so firmly anchored that nothing could dislodge it. It is helpful to hear Driscoll say, “We ought not be surprised when sinners sin;” but are we not also saints? Does God not promise to perfect those who are being made holy? Yes, with God all things are possible (do I really believe this?), but why do I not more often see him doing that which he promises to do? And why do I not see his saints “running in such a way as to win the prize,” and fleeing from idolatry?”

Perhaps we are not asking God (persistently, passionately, faith-full-y) to change us. Perhaps we are spiritually weak and lazy because we don’t see there is a race going on, and we don’t see the finish line (Col 3:1-3). Perhaps we are sleepy and drunk on the extreme excesses of materialism, capitalism and narcissism.

And perhaps I imagine and assume that we become more Christ-like than is actually the case on earth. Maybe I am looking for perfection; maybe I am looking too much at the externals. The more I contemplate, the more I realize that the most radical, the most extreme transformation will take place…in the blink of any eye. Certainly it is God’s will that we become more and more Christ-like on earth, but I’m also sure that his secret plan includes such instant transformation of ourselves and others that we will be shocked. And when that happens, there will be absolutely no possibility that we will take any credit. We will be utterly amazed, and we will shout, sing and jump in excitement, in praise of our God, in whose presence we will stand.
God, may I live my life in view of that day. And knowing that you are already present in my heart—knowing too that you are the motor and engine and power behind my every good work—may I passionately and joyfully run toward that transformation by faith, even now.

Hide and Seek

People love to hide. They enjoy hide and seek as children, and continue to play as adults, only with more to hide, and more serious consequences than simply losing the game. Only, in Christ and in his Church, the winner is the one who is discovered and found, whose hiding place is opened up and laid bare before the One or ones who are ‘it.’

I am amazed at the number of people who come into the church hiding—why then come into the church? Because they see church as a system of religion, and they see other people as ‘it,’ ones who are judges, ones whose opinions and judgments matter. So they are embarrassed to be ‘found.’ They miss—I don’t know how, it is preached over and over again, they miss the fact that this is not about system of religion, this is about a relationship with a Person, the man Jesus Christ. Jesus is the One who is it, he is the judge and jury. But he has stepped down, he has paid the penalty, and he wants to be our friend. Yes, he calls us and commands us to change, to deal with that which embarrasses us, but only as we walk with him, and only in his power, strength and ability. And he will help, he will come near, only when we admit to him—and others, that we cannot change on our own, that we need his—and others’ help.

Not only does it not matter if we are ‘found out’ by others, but it is in fact important to be found out; for others to see the real you. Perhaps a better (if imperfect) analogy is of an emergency room operating table. To mix metaphors, you are the patient with a gaping wound in your abdomen. The nurses are the church, and God is the Doctor. You have come in for help, God is ready and willing to operate, but he cannot come close to do his work. Because you are irrationally fighting off the nurses—you think that their prepping the area, and giving you anesthesia is actually going to hurt you. So you fight against them and guard your wound.

The church is here to help, as God has created it to be a community of love, support, and one-another-ing, as it points to the ultimate Healer. But it can’t help while you are busy covering up your wounds. Ironically, the opinion of the church doesn’t matter one bit—it is God who is the judge, to mix metaphors once again. But we hide from him too—with our system of religion and good works as a band-aid seeking to cover up a gaping gunshot wound. But hiding from God is about as effective as a kid covering his eyes up to hide from his parents. Not seeing his parents, he reasons that they can’t see him either.

Rebirthing "Born Again"

“Born again” is such a tired, misused concept in our Christian sub-culture. Yet this is a perfect phrase from God’s Perfect Word that needs to be dusted off and polished and admired in its pristine state again. One concept related to this is that of adoption, which I will touch on in a sermon this week.

Adoption has a legal aspect, or course. As a child is adopted, there is a legal process transferring ownership, responsibility, identification, motherhood, and fatherhood from one to another. But the overriding thought in adoption is not legal, but familial. When a child is adopted, the new father says in his heart, “You are mine, I commit myself to you. I give of myself to you, I give you rights to my inheritance because now you are my child, I give you—unreservedly—my love; as close to agape love as is humanly possible. I will never leave you, and when you run away, I will always take you back in. I will always forgive every sin. All this, because now you are my son.

Put yourself in this adopted child’s shoes. Imagine he was born to a crack-user living on the streets with no means to provide food and shelter, and no emotional or spiritual means to provide love. No ability or interest to teach the child how to ride a bike or review school work. No mind to teach and apply truths at home, no money for clothes or college, no chance of marriage, no luxuries and not even necessities available. More accurate to our conditionin Scripture would be that the mother and father are dead, and the child lies unconscious in a ditch on the brink of death.

As that child is adopted into a family, the description of which is the exact opposite of that above; as he is fed, bathed, clothed, and loved, tell me if he wouldn’t say, “I’ve been born again!”

On a Short Leash

Stray dogs have a lot of freedom, but they are also more likely to run into danger. Conversely, God has me on a short leash. One pastor said this after he bounded up an escalator at the airport, marveling in his physical strength and ability, only to find himself the next moment at the bottom of the escalator flat on his face having tripped. Similarly, God has me on a short leash. One day several years ago I was throwing the Frisbee with a friend. Someone walked by and said of me, “Wow, he can really throw that thing.” Naturally, I thought in my heart, ‘wow, he’s right, I can really throw this thing.’ And as the Frisbee was thrown back to me I thought, ‘And I can really catch too.’

The problem was, someone else in our group could also really catch. And as I saw Tyler start running toward the disc to catch it, I quickened my pace. Only, Tyler is scary fast and got there a split second before me. No problem, only we were coming from opposite angles and collided in midair. Tyler is also a little bigger than me and saw the collision coming. I, on the other hand, was blind to it, as a tight end coming across the middle of the field who runs right into a linebacker coming from the opposite direction.

The next thing I knew I had gone down. Hard. Sliding to a stop on the asphalt. The strawberries on my shoulders and hands I could deal with easily, but when I got up I noticed that my left pinky looked like it had an extra knuckle, broken at the base. Several years later now, it is still a little tight when I make a fist. Just enough of a reminder that I am on a short leash.

We sometimes see this cycle of blessing, pride, and humbling in our lives, and one place we see it in Scripture is in the life of Job. Scripture says that Job is blameless and upright (1:1), yet when Job is suffering we see that there must have been some amount of pride, independence, self-righteousness all along. (9:21; 13:3; 27:4-6). Job too was on a short leash. For all the web of complex reasons God had for Job’s suffering (which we will never comprehend) one thing God intended to do (and accomplished perfectly) was the humbling of Job, such that Job would say, “Behold, I am insignificant” (40:4), and, “I declared things too wonderful for me, which I did not know…I repent in dust and ashes.”

To paraphrase, Job said, “God, I am sorry. You are the sovereign God, and I am a limited, finite, creation. I am out of place anytime I boast in myself, in my own strength, in my own goodness, because when I do I set myself up as a god and detract from your glory and what is rightfully yours.” The beauty and grace in all this is that the cycle repeats itself for those who love God and submit to him. The book of Job ends with his restoration of treasures and children—more than he ever had before.

I experienced this cycle again recently when I had been in a good routine of exercise and was feeling particularly strong and aerobic. I went on vacation with no little amount of pride in my heart, thinking even that my brothers would be impressed with my ability as we jogged together on the beach. Only, I never got to jog once, because I am on a short leash. In record time (even during the drive to South Carolina) I came down with the strongest of sinus and chest infections. I spent much of the week wrestling with God (as Job did) in my room, away from the fun on the beach. Thankfully, God showed me my pride, I repented, I acknowledged his perfect will, and I even thanked him for my sickness (which is not easy to do when you are sick).

Now I am back home, and back into a strong routine of exercise. But I am reminded of my short leash. I am reminded that he is God and I am not; that he has given me every breath, every muscle and every ability in life. I don’t know the next time I will forget and seek to run off on my own, I don’t know how he will pull me back. But I am thankful that he does, because it will be for my good and his glory. And for his children, the cycle always repeats itself, returning to blessing. And it is on blessing—eternal blessing—that the cycle will one day soon end.

Resurrected Scripture

As I have written before about Romans 8, sometimes a passage in the Bible which seems overused and tired comes to life again in a fresh light. This has been the case with 1 Corinthians 13—the famous love chapter, which the elders of Cornerstone have decided to study individually and apply to their lives. I don’t get very far substituting my name for love (Ted is patient, Ted is kind) before I realize I have failed in every one of these areas.

For example, “Love always protects.” The other night I was in bed and Lucibeth wanted me to come out to the car with her (in the dark) to look for something. I (very reluctantly) got out of bed to go with her, realizing even as I went that the attitude of love is as important as the action of love. Not only was I being self-seeking by wanting to stay in bed, but I was only reluctantly protecting, rather than cherishing to do so. And I also sought to explain away my sin in my mind by believing that there is no real threat in our neighborhood anyway.

The good part about this exercise with the elders is that it exposed the sinfulness of my heart and gave me an opportunity to repent. Lord, forgive me and help me; help me to be so tender toward Lucibeth, help me to so cherish her that I would delight to offer her protection before she even thinks of her need.

And forgive me Lord that I allow parts of your Word to feel ‘tired’ to me, and I may not look at these parts for years as a result. Thank you that the very fact that these passages come back to life to me and jump off the page testifies to the supernatural nature of this Book.

God's Presence

In our preaching series we are coming up on one of my favorite passages, concerning the presence of God (Exodus 33). God is angry at Israel for their disobedience and basically says, “I’ll send an angel with you on your journey, but I will not go with you myself.” Moses’ response is classic: “God, if your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.” God promises a bounteous land full of blessing and luxury, and Moses would rather stay right where he is if God is not going to go with them.

God, do not send me home tonight to my family without your presence. Do not let me run errands today without your presence. As I work on the message this week, I do not want to read one word of Scripture without your presence. I do not want to read one commentary without your presence. I do not want to write one word of notes without your presence.

Evangelism Through Prayer

As I read Matthew I am reminded and amazed at the centrality of the theme of outreach. To name just a couple instances, in chapter 4 Jesus says to his disciples, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” In a very real sense being fishers of men is the central calling of a Christian. In chapter 5 He teaches that we are light and salt, and that the reason we are to let our light shine before men is so that others will see and praise God in heaven.

Then in chapter 9, Jesus saw the crowds and had compassion on them. Interestingly he does not here send out his disciples. Rather, he teaches them to pray: “Ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into his harvest field.” Two points are important here. First is the connection between vision and action. Jesus 1) saw—with compassion; then, he 2) acted—instructing his disciples to pray. I am convinced that evangelism is not on most Christian’s radar in life, and the reason is that they do not see the need. If you don’t see the need and you don’t have compassion on the eternal destiny of others, I suggest don’t just pray for God to send out workers; pray first for God to change your heart and your spiritual eyesight.

The second point to be made here is that when I think of different methods of evangelism—relational, tracts, inviting to church, etc., rarely is prayer on my list. Do I truly believe Jesus when he said, “Ask and you shall receive?” Am I praying—consistently, persistently, passionately, urgently—for the lost around me? For my family members, neighbors, for divine appointments?

God, make me so aware of the lost around me, so compassionate toward them, that I not only become a man of prayer for their salvation, but that their salvation becomes one of the main themes and driving forces in my life.

Living Missionally

God has blessed our mission trip to Jamaica, which seems to have made a deep impact—probably more in our lives than the Jamaicans. The team will meet in a week to debrief and to talk about how we are different as a result of our experience. One thought came to mind this morning: A mission trip is unique, but there is nothing unique about how one lives during a mission trip.

To illustrate, at the end of our trip we stayed at a hotel near the airport. While I was brushing my teeth I instinctively turned the water off, because it had been scarce and expensive at the deaf school in the hills. My next thought was, “The trip is over; I don’t need to conserve water anymore.” This thought, however, was immediately followed up by, “But God calls us to take care of the earth as stewards, which includes not wasting his resources.” In fact the Christian has the strongest and most consistent motivation of all to be an Environmentalist (properly understood). A mission trip is unique, but there is nothing unique about how one lives during a mission trip.

Other areas of life apply equally. Several mothers on the team said during the trip: “I wish I could get him/her to work this hard at home. Why is it so fun and motivating to serve and sweat and get dirty and smile and lend a helping hand in another environment? One afternoon a group of us ran out of jobs and decided to just pick up trash behind the dorms. We found all kinds of things in the thick, deep grass: bicycle frames, lots of rusty metal, a dirty diaper, broken glass, and ticks. And yet it was fun! God, give us such hearts for hard work—that we work unto the Lord, not to men—no matter where we are. A mission trip is unique, but there is nothing unique about how one lives during a mission trip.

There was also talk, and prayer about opportunities to share the gospel during our trip. At a local invalid home I shared Christ, and an urgency to deal with Him, with a woman who “was not a Christian, but would become one soon.” Many others shared words of Christ and God’s love to the students at the deaf school. And yet we all know that in our lives back in the US it is extremely rare to find a Christian looking and praying for opportunities to share Christ to those around us. A mission trip is unique, but there is nothing unique about how one lives during a mission trip.

God, thank you for such an amazing experience. Help us now to take care of what you have given us; help us to more consistently love and serve others; and help us to truly believe the gospel—and would you build in us an urgent desire to share it in the mission field right here at home.

Wrapping Up Work - Mission Trip to Jamaica

Yesterday included several highlights. In the early afternoon Monty took 10 students to a hearing school in the village to help with a one-hour Bible Club. The kids were fascinated at the 'white people' who visited, and they loved the singing, playing and teaching time. Yesterday evening (back at the deaf facility) we all sang and learned to sign songs, together with the students. The other church we are with did a drama, and Monty gave a devotional/gospel talk to all the students.

Finally, after much work and hard play, yesterday evening we held our team debrief outside on the basketball court under a full moon. The team has bonded well, and we enjoyed sharing stories that touched our hearts from our interaction with the kids that day. JJ Miranda took a poll of who missed their TV--not a hand went up; and who missed their computer--not a hand went up. Ok, I think there was one. Clearly we have been affected by how little the Jamaicans need, and we have learned to get by ourselves with much less (in the way of luxuries and entertainment). God, we pray that the impact from this week will carry on in our lives at home in meaningful ways.

Our work projects continue on this final day. The most rewarding for me has been clearing deep weeds (and trash, rusty metal, bottles, etc.) out of four small gardens encircled with cinder block. This afternoon some went into town to buy vegetable seeds to plant. A handful of students stay here for the summer, and they will keep the gardens up after we are gone. This will be fun for them, educational, and at least a small help financially with the increase in the cost of food.

This afternoon we will hang out with the students one last time, and we will pack tonight. Tomorrow morning we will get a presentation from a traveling signing team, then head to some local waterfalls to debrief and relax (YS Falls). Our team will continue on to Montigo Bay and spend the night at a sort of hostel/hotel, since our flight out is so early Saturday.

Because of our travel, this will be my last entry from Jamaica. Thanks so much for support from many of you, encouragement, finances and prayers from so many. I am confident this short trip has made an impact--both here in Jamaica, and probably much more so in our hearts.

Settling in to Jamaica

Yesterday we settled in to various work projects in the morning, and sports and games with kids in the afternoons. One incident illustrates well the differences in our cultures. Much of the morning was spent looking for and fixing a staple gun to repair screens in the kitchen and dining room. I walked with the Jamaican foreman (very slowly) to several places to find it, then three Americans and two Jamaicans spent an hour trying to fix it. Meanwhile Beth Bradburn spent this time hammering heavy duty staples into screens with a hammer.

While I was looking for the gun in the first place I was thinking, "We would save so much time if we just went out to buy one (which we eventually did). But walking around with the foreman, he told me the fascinating story of how he met and got engaged with his wife. I realized that I would not have heard that story if I had just gone off to buy a new gun. How many times do we miss opportunities to build relationships because we are so efficient in the US?

Work projects include digging and pouring footers for a new bathroom (our young guys are working so hard), painting, screen repair, fixing chain link fences, and tying rebar (steel supports for concrete). After a rainy Monday, yesterday afternoon was perfect--one of those days when you are a little warm in the sun, and a little cool in the shade, with a steady breeze. We brought out beads to make necklaces and bracelets, and we were concerned the older kids would be uninterested. One Jamaican boy got started with them and signed to his teacher--with much emotion, "I LOVE this!"

This is a Christian school, so it is not so much an evangelistic trip as it is simply loving the kids. One teacher said that the kids act up at the end of the school year because they are scared, nervous and sad to go home to thier families during the summer months. Usually their relatives do not sign, and certainly others in their villages and cities do not, which makes them very isolated. So they are hungry now simply for love and attention.

Stephen Dickman has regulars at the Sorry game, Ute with a 1,000 piece puzzle, Beth with Jenga, Forrest with beads, and Brandon made us proud being the only one of us who could beat the Jamaicans at checkers (Jamaican rules). The field in the afternoon is full of activity, especially the popular sport here of soccer. Casey and Monty are involved here, and are often out gunned by the older students (but they hold their own). Others help out in all these areas, and we are building such relationships with the kids that they can't wait to get out of school to hang out with us.

We have enjoyed our evenings together singing and praying, debriefing, and breaking into families (plus one or two guests) for devotions.

Infirmary Visit and First Day on the Job

Anyone just looking on, I am on a mission trip with 24 friends from our church, Cornerstone and trying to write about our experiences.

The infirmary yesterday was intense. It was a state funded (I use that term loosely) facility for about 150 people with all kinds of mental and physical problems, mostly elderly. One woman was dropped off by her sister years ago, never to see her sister again. (Her sister kept the wheel chair when she left.) There were many difficult things for our American senses to take in which we will remember for years.

But positively, we sought to overcome our discomfort and share the love of Christ with them. Many of them gathered in their eating area to listen to us to sing. As with American nursing homes, some visibly appreciated this, and others sat still and rested. Many were not able to attend this, and we visited them in their rooms (large rooms lined with cot-like beds). We were most impacted by the contentment and happiness of them in these pitiful conditions; sometimes their only belongings consisting of a few personal hygiene items and a Bible verse on the wall.

While debriefing, we naturally talked about how blessed we are in the US. But we also flipped this around and considered how little people actually need to get by. As Paul says, “I have learned the secret of contentment in any and every situation, whether living in plenty or in want (writing this even from jail).

This morning we have learned flexibility and patience in two ways. First from the laid back Jamaican culture (most important is not efficiency, but relationships), and second from frequent downpours from a tropical depression. The men and boys were able to clean up, sand, and prime what was a messy room with cement walls and floor. Most of the women and girls painted the inside of the meeting room so it will look nice for the Jamaican students’ graduation next week.

Between small jobs we are having a wonderful time getting to know each other on the team, and also interacting with the Jamaican kids who crave physical touch and attention.

Arrived Safely

Thank God, our mission trip to Jamaica has started out wonderfully. We arrived safely in Knockpatrick, Jamaica, after a 3 hour bus ride. Though tired, we had time to hang out with the Jamaican kids, learning their names through sign language (and white boards). That evening we had a great time of worship and prayer, with a devotion on our first shorter catechism question (What is the chief end of man?). The idea is that we can't do missions really until we know him meaningfully and personally ourselves. And knowing him and gloryifying him is all tied up with enjoying him.

Worship services today were wonderful. Half of us went to a Baptist (speaking, not deaf) church in the village of Mandeville. How truly wonderful to worship with a different tribe and nation, giving us a foretaste of heaven. The other half went to a deaf service which was more casual and laid back. It was meaningful for them to see deaf children and adults sign their worship songs with such passion.

Thanks to many for their support. This afternoon we are off to show some love, and share drinks and snacks with some terminally ill, poor Jamaicans in town. And tomorrow starts our physical work and more time with the Jamaican kids in the afternoon. More news hopefully in a couple days.

Ready for Jamaica

Our team has worked hard to prepare, and we are excited about our adventure to Jamaica starting Saturday morning at 4:45 a.m.! We are 25 teens and adults from Cornerstone, and we are going to work, serve and love at a boarding school for deaf kids in Jamaica.

Deaf kids there have very little hope for a normal life and vocation, so this school takes them in at very young ages, teaches them sign language, and educates them all the way through high school, including vocations such as sewing, carpentry, cosmotology, cooking and computers.

In the mornings we will do light construction on their simple, and sometimes worn out, facilities. In the afternoon we will engage the older kids (grades 7th through 12th) through soccer and other sports, painting, and arts and crafts. One other church from Charleston, SC will be there this week, which will focus on the younger ages in the afternoons. In the evenings we will worship, debrief each day, and have family and small group devotions.

Check back here next week, as I hope to send a few updates during our trip to the many who have supported us and would like to support us through prayer. Our hope and prayer is not only that we would make an impact in Jamaica, but that we ourselves would be changed in the process.

Taking a Break

What do people do when they are beat up, tired and just worn out from life? Some sleep, some read, some turn to alcohol or other crutches. In college I visited a pastor’s daughter one evening and came into the living room where the pastor was on the couch watching TV. I was excited to see him and interested in getting encouraged by him or having a spiritual conversation, but I didn’t get the time of day. He gruffly said hello and turned back to his movie. (I don’t commend his response, but as a pastor now I know personally his emotional fatigue after a long day of interacting with people.)

In 1 Thess 2, Paul writes about how he had previously suffered in Philippi before moving on to Thessalonica (we often skip over Paul’s greetings and travel details, but these sometimes contain very interesting insights). And did he get rest there? No, he encountered “strong opposition,” which apparently had the effect of running him out of town (3:1). Out of the frying pan and into the fire. And there is no indication anywhere in Paul’s letters that he slowed down, in fact in 2 Timothy he speaks of being poured out like a drink offering—spending his life over and over…for what? For the gospel, which is the central theme of 1 Thess 2, repeated over and over, which is the very content of his message (2:2).

God, may the gospel of Christ be both my message and my fuel to press on, even when I feel opposed or worn out. May the gospel of Christ so fill our church that we would actively live out our faith—not less and less, but more and more as we see The Day approaching.

I don’t know why, but when I was younger, I used to see if I could force a smile on my face during the most sad or hurtful circumstances—just to see if it could be done. It was not easy. But now, a smile comes to my face naturally at the most unusual of times. It is not as if I am happier or have better circumstances than anyone else (though I’m sure that is true too, as I am blessed), but the more I focus on the grace of Christ the more it affects and runs into every chasm of my soul.

I confess sin, and I bask in thankfulness simultaneously. Perhaps this is part of what Paul meant when he wrote, “Hard pressed, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.” I feel as if I have a twisted grin on my face at times when I am alone—sorrowful and broken over my sin—only a small part of which I am aware. And at the same time the light of grace pours in and lights up any shadow of darkness. And if death has no more sting, then what power does a bad day have over me? Even an injury, or a bad meeting, or a strained relationship, or a sickness, or anything else in all creation?

Perfectly Restful Activity

I’m working on a sermon on the 4th commandment, remembering the Sabbath. One reason God calls us to do this is because he created the earth in six days and rested the seventh. I wondered, “Why did God rest? Certainly he wasn’t tired, was he?” The Hebrew word for Sabbath can be best interpreted as a ‘day of ceasing.’ So God ceased his work, and in John Piper’s words said, “Wow!” It is as if God is taking pleasure in his glorious work of creation and asking us to join him in the wonder of his creativity and power.

I was reminded this week that we are not only to look back, but we are also to look forward. I believe that another reason God modeled this pattern of work and rest is because a Sabbath rest yet remains for us in heaven after our work on earth is done (Heb 4). I met with a beautiful, godly lady this week that has terminal cancer, and the 4th commandment came to life. (So often God’s Word seems so theoretical in the study, but when you see how it applies and speaks into real life, it comes to life itself.) I took great joy in describing that our new life in the New Heavens and New Earth will be full of activity, will be marvelous and full of wonder, will be full of worship and excitement and perfect peace; and as active as it will be, it will be completely and utterly restful.

We think of all the things we would like to do on earth, but I believe it would be more fruitful to set our minds on things above, realizing that it will be infinitely better to do these things in the New Earth in new bodies which will never tire.

Thankful for Punishment

Very often our thoughts and prayers on suffering and punishment are along this thread: “Why is there evil in the world?” “God, please take this suffering away.” “Why would a good person have to suffer so much?” But here is a challenging perspective from Ezra in chapter 9: “God, you have punished us less thank our sins have deserved.” Even in light of the exile, Israel losing their homes and country, being taken to a foreign land, their hugely important center for worship had been destroyed and pillaged, and Ezra says that God’s punishment has been less than they deserved.

Clearly his eye is not on his circumstances but on his God, and his own sinfulness before Him. God, help me to know you, help me to know myself and my depravity. And help me to ultimately look to Jesus’ work and life eternal being thankful that any suffering that I endure on earth is infinitely less than I deserve.

ACTS

I was praying my way through the acrostic ACTS this morning (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication). 1 Chronicles 29:10-13 is a great prayer for adoration and one I want to memorize. When I was on ‘confession,’ my mind wandered to other things (as it often does in prayer). I woke back up and asked myself, “Have you finished confession?” The thought of response was, “I’ve never finished confession.”

There is always more. But the purpose is never to wipe the slate clean, which is already clean. The purpose is never to earn my way back into God’s good graces. The purpose is to exalt the name of God by humbling myself and recognizing the great distance between us that Christ has covered. God is honored and glorified when we confess our sins, when we acknowledge to him that we are sinful and he is holy. The greater our awareness of our desperate need for him, the more glorious and powerful is his rescue through Christ.

Being Real

Perhaps my greatest fear is that I would live out an inauthentic Christian life before my kids, such that they would see me as a hypocrite. Perhaps as a pastor this temptation is stronger than it is for many others, as I perceive that I have to live up to certain moral, social, and spiritual expectations of others. How am I doing?

Several days ago my son Craig said to Lucibeth and I, "Why are you nicer to us around other people than when we are alone?" Ouch. Yes, I know—it is right not to discipline or reprove in public. But that is not what he was talking about. As a seven year-old this was the deep wisdom to discern anger, frustration and impatience that we are quick to hide from others behind a plastic mask of a smile.

What can we do? Repent. And to do so in front of our kids, so that they can see for themselves that we are trying to overcome this most heinous of sins by confessing it and repenting of it before others. I have read somewhere that the most powerful way to impact your kids is not necessarily to be "good," but rather to confess and let them know when we are not. That way, they will see that your faith is real, and there is much power in that.

The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. Rom 13:12

The Bible is fascinating in that it uses metaphors in different, sometimes opposite, ways. For example, usually yeast is bad (1 Cor 5:6), but sometimes it is good (Mt 13:33). It is the same with sleep, which is typically a metaphor for death (1 Cor 15:6). And isn’t it the case, from our standpoint here on earth, that the dead appear to be sleeping?

But the most powerful use of this metaphor is when it is reversed, as in Rom 13:12: "The night is nearly over; the day is almost here." Here, the perspective is from heaven. This life is as a dream in the night, and it is nearly over. This life is compared with the darkness because it is dark, compared to the New Heavens and New Earth where the Lord God himself will be our light. This life is compared with the night because it is as a hazy dream compared with the new life which is truly life. When we "wake up" in heaven, it will be as waking up from a dream.

So we do not grieve as those without hope (1 Thess 4:13), because when our loved ones die in Christ, they will wake up and see their Savior’s face (Ps 17:15).

More Jamaican Musings

More thoughts of the Jamaican interior come to mind from my trip last week, this time of those with disabilities. There is a Jamaican in the deaf village who has a dog which got into a fight with another dog one evening. It was so loud, our team meeting was interrupted; we all ran to the window to watch this man try to separate the dogs—at one point swinging the two dogs around in a circle to get the one to release the other's ear.

Later we were together, and he was laughing and recounting the full story (in sign language) to a few people standing around who could understand. Interestingly, the normal roles were reversed. Usually, those with hearing loss would be insecure and out of the loop. Here I was, watching this hilarious story being told in a way that was unintelligible to my eyes. It gave me a sense for how they feel when they are out of their element.

But what was most interesting about this guy was that he was really cool. He had a sense of humor, he was a hard worker, he had bright eyes and strong arms, and he was completely at peace and confident with those around him. Too often I put the disabled in a box and automatically have pity on them. This guy didn’t need a bit of pity. Maybe I was the one who needed pity for feeling insecure and not being able to relax and just enjoy the smile on his face as he told his story with his hands.

Jamaican Joy

I just returned from touring several schools and a village for deaf children in Jamaica. Interestingly, I barely got a glimpse of the “Jamaica” that most tourists see—the beaches, beautiful water, the endless rows of shops with local trinkets (stamped ‘made in Taiwan’ on the back). My trip started at the non-air conditioned Kingston airport with one broken water fountain. I drove with a handful of new friends to the urban deaf school past some Jamaican homes not fit for a dog, sometimes made out of a couple pieces of corrugated aluminum and plywood.

The school included dorms, class rooms, a kitchen and several other buildings necessary to run a small, basic boarding school. The dorms were tidy and sparse with a couple small ragged posters here and there, and one or two knick-knacks on well-used dressers. My son asked later if they had toys, and I had to think before I answered, “About one each.” (This led him to the desire to send me down with some of his toys on the next trip, which warmed my heart.)

But the most surprising aspect of this school was not the lack of comforts, but rather the presence of joy. After a few awkward moments of the kids wondering who these wealthy looking white people were, our group began playfully competing with the kids doing chin-ups on their monkey bars. A couple men kicked the (well-worn and flat) soccer ball around, making make-shift goals with shoes. As I reflect now, I don’t remember any kids arguing or complaining or fighting.

One leader was there who will be with us this summer as we take down teens for a mission trip. As we talked about team devotions on the trip, he said, “I don’t want our devotions to communicate, ‘Let’s consider how blessed we are in the US, and how much we have, and how thankful we should be.’” I understood what he meant as I looked around and noticed how blessed the kids were with how little they had.

Paul tells us in Phil 4:12, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” Surly the physical blessings in the US is very often a curse because we have grown so accustomed to our comforts and so dependent on them. A more helpful devotional study would be to consider how blessed the Jamaicans are by finding the secret of contentment no matter what the circumstances.

Why One More Blog?

Why do I write, someone asked?

My writing started on a vacation to Europe in 1999. Some travel expert had suggested keeping a diary of one’s trip to look back on. But the main purpose of my writing (under the umbrella of the glory of God) was for my children. I realized that I would love to have had my father write about his life experiences—what was it like to grow up in small town Kentucky, what was his grandfather like, what were his disappointments and triumphs, and so on. I labeled my first journal “Memoirs”—I still don’t know why Lucibeth laughed at that, having little faith that it would be a best seller one day.

After two journals, I began moving from paper to computer. (I don’t have Ken Charlton’s handsome script). I also realized that my writing was changing from private thoughts and remembrances to more general insights and thoughts on life, philosophy and theology.

This brings me to my second purpose in writing, which is for the church. Abraham Piper suggests that writing a blog is a great way for the congregation to get to know a pastor and to see his heart. It is also another avenue for teaching important things for which there is no time or place in a sermon. So, let me know if anyone appreciates this and receives encouragement.

My third and final purpose in writing is for my own development. Pastor Ligon Duncan has written: “There is no discipline more suited to force the mind to organize and communicate the truth than that of writing.” So, if there were no other purpose, writing is good for my mind, it forces me to categorize and organize my thoughts, and helps me to think through how to communicate them to others.

Spiritual ADHD

St. Augustine once wrote, “Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee.” Centuries later Blaise Pascal wrote that there is a “God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God.” These are well-known quotes, but I continue to be amazed at how often this idea comes up in Scripture. In 2 Chronicles 28, King Ahaz is seeking fulfillment in other things and is serving other gods. And when God brings judgment to get his attention, Ahaz only calls on help from another country, Assyria. But in verse 20, “the king of Assyria came to him, but he gave him trouble instead of help.”

God, how often do I run to anything else for help, besides you? When will I learn, when will we learn that we will never be satisfied; things will never go well when we are working against you? When will I learn that when anything is more important than you it is simply not going to work out?

Two verses later Ahaz becomes “even more unfaithful to the Lord.” He offered sacrifices to the god of another country who had defeated him, thinking they would help him. This is nothing short of desperation; a last ditch effort at success, pleasure, satisfaction.

We will try anything, won’t we? We will look anywhere else for life-anesthesia, we’ll try any activity, any distraction, any sport, TV show, or drug. We have spiritual ADHD, with our attention jumping around to anything or anyone that will soothe our problems for a moment. Just as long as we don’t have to make the effort and swallow our pride, and bow the knee to the one true God. The sad irony is this: that is the only place where real rest, and pleasure, and satisfaction exist. God, help me to find my rest, my life, my all in you.

Very Loud Voices

Continuing from my last entry, 2 Chronicles 20 has some amazing insights for our prayer and worship lives. King Jehoshaphat is being surrounded by his enemies. In v. 15 a prophet tells him, “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the battle is not yours but God’s.” The phrase “do not be afraid” is repeated over and over again in Scripture, probably because we are so likely to be just that. But if you are a Christian, the battle is not yours, but God’s. He will deliver us ultimately because he is a warrior God who fights for his people (Ex 15:3), he has in store vengeance for his enemies and comfort for his people (Is 61:2), and restores all things for those who trust in him (Acts 3:21).

Amazingly, Jehoshaphat and the people believed God’s message and fall down in worship (v. 18). Often, I wish I were more physically expressive in life. My truncated or suppressed emotions may allow me to timidly raise a hand in the back of the church from time to time (Ps 28:2; 1 Tim 2:8). But this passage reminds us is that lifting hands to God is not the only right posture of worship (in heart or hand). Here God’s people are bowing down low to a powerful, mighty, sovereign, and holy God. Lord, may I be so overwhelmed by your goodness and grace toward me that I freely express that gratitude toward you. And may I also be in such awe of the majesty of your holiness that I would bow down low to you in humble submission, reverence, and wonder.

Finally, the people praised God with a “very loud voice” (v. 19). Often worship arguments center on style and instrumentation. My personal belief is that many kinds of styles are beautiful when they accompany very loud voices (in spirit and truth, with reverence and joy). I enjoy very much the contemporary band and instrumentation at our church (a visiting friend recently asked, “Have they put out a CD?”). But also one of the best worship experiences I have had was a room of 200 men, with very loud voices, accompanied by nothing but a piano.

Father, may we be so in love with you that not only would worship wars fade away, but also the self-consciousness of our voices being heard by others. And may we shout out your praise with joy overflowing from our hearts.

Lord, I Don't Know What To Do

Can anything good come out of 2 Chronicles, some wonder? Chapter 20 contains some of the most challenging and encouraging verses on worship and prayer. Jehosaphat’s enemies are advancing against him and he immediately inquired of the Lord (v. 3). God, how often do I quickly run to secure my own defenses, how often do I look to physical protection instead of immediately turning to you?

Jehosaphat then proclaimed a fast for all Judah (v. 3). This reminds me that Jesus didn’t abolish fasting when faced with abuses; he didn’t say if you fast; rather he said “when you fast… (Mt 6:16). A practice of fasting serves the Lord, and would serve us well by reminding us of our utter dependence on God in this age of instant gratification and self-reliance.

Jehosaphat continues in verses 6-7 with deep words of praise not often found on our lips, and then prays boldly in a way that almost challenges and tests God, as if to say, “God, isn’t this land something that you promised, which is about to be taken away? Won’t you bring glory to your name by answering this prayer?” Father, inspire us to pray in such accordance with your will that we can use equally bold words in our supplication.

The end of his prayer has become a standard prayer in my own life. He concludes, “For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.” Most of us are not attacked by physical armies, but we are attacked daily by spiritual ones: doubt, various temptations, physical suffering, insecurities, indecision, fear, and the list goes on. Lord, I don’t know what to do when I am trying to solve conflict between neighborhood kids (or adults). Sometimes I don’t know what to say when I am counseling individuals at church. I have no idea what to say when a brilliant neighbor argues against your existence and I am tongue-tied. But my eyes are on you.

I’ve taught this simple, yet profound, prayer to my kids that I pray will be pulled out and used years later: “I do not know what to do, but my eyes are on you.” It even rhymes.

The Glory of Our King

There is something particular missing in Christian outreach today. An understatement? Any number of us could come up with a long list of elements, whether it has to do with the content of our message, our lack of Biblical literacy, our misunderstanding of the gospel, a lack of love for our neighbor, an over-emphasis on canned tracts, decisionalism instead of discipleship, or a lack of relationships with non-Christians to begin with. All this may be true, but in preparing to teach on evangelism I became aware that in all the resources I found not much is said of God’s kingdom and his glory.

God’s kingdom and glory are, to me, among the most difficult to teach, and yet are so prevalent and prominent in Scripture. God is zealous for his own glory in Is 48:8-11, Moses wants to see God’s glory in Ex 33:18, the Psalmist wants to proclaim God’s glory in Ps 57:5, and the King displays his glory in Ps 24:7-9. What is the connection with evangelism? Simply this: If we envisioned ourselves more so as citizens of a heavenly kingdom under the rule of a glorious, mighty, brilliant, eternal King, who promises expansion of his kingdom and ultimate victory…wouldn’t we want to be caught up in the privilege of being a part of its growth and success?

Sam Storms touches on this in One Thing when he writes about a grander vision of his glorious King, ““I often try to envision what my life would be like if this were an accurate description of my relationship with God…I trust that I would display an uncommon boldness and courage in sharing Christ.” Surly the glory of our King, and the expansion of his kingdom are worthy concepts of our meditation for the rest of our lives, and will in turn have a profound impact on us as we reach out to others.

I performed my first wedding this past weekend. Somehow the entire extended family knew it was my first and didn’t tire of reminding me of that fact leading up to the ceremony. But at the rehearsal dinner, I asked the father of the bride what it was like to give a daughter away, as I have two. I was looking for some deep wisdom, and somehow his only words were, "start saving your money." Somehow I wanted more than that.

I suppose some dread those days because college and weddings can be so expensive. Maybe even more dread those days because little girls can be so cute and innocent; grandparents say, “Now you stop growing, ok? Don’t get any taller!”

I believe the answer to this frustration is not the futile wish that they would stop growing, but in the vision of seeing them as already grown up. When I look at them, I say to myself (and pray to God): “This child is going to be an adult very, very soon, Lord willing. And either they will be taking care of me as a childlike elderly man, or I will be long gone from this world.

What wisdom, skills and abilities do they need to develop and hone now, to prepare them for those days? What sin patterns do they need to be aware of and work on overcoming?

God, I pray that my sons would be mighty warriors for your kingdom. By your grace, help me to equip and prepare them as such. Father, I pray that my girls would be faithful women, able to teach and equip younger women; that they would be godly wives, that they would raise faithful children of their own who would in turn be used to expand your name, your glory, and your kingdom. And I pray that generations of faithfulness would come from them, until Christ returns.

The Challenge of Growing Up in the Church

How many of Israel’s kings turned away from the faith of King David? I heard this week of another pastor's children who are growing up and not walking with their God. God, what is going on that I would almost rather my kids not grow up in a godly home? Certainly there is something wrong with that idea!

I told my kids last night they would have immense pressure to turn away. That they would find these Bible stories boring, that they would see hypocrisy in their dad and in the church. Already my son is getting bored in Sunday School (his teacher tells me). He sits at the head of the class and answers all the questions, but he is not really being challenged. And the day will come soon when it is no longer cool to answer questions and sit at the front.

What can be done? Last night during devotions we looked at Jesus’ words, “The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.” I got him to tell me where Jesus might have him sit, giving better seats to his classmates. I got him to tell me that Jesus may have him wait to raise his hand, giving others a chance to think and answer. And I explained to him how he may pray instead of raising his hand and speaking: “God, teach my classmates, work in their hearts, help them to believe in Jesus. And God, help me to not only believe, but to be more and more amazed at these Bible stories as I grow in you.”


And God, give my sons (and daughters) wholehearted devotion to keep your commands and requirements (1 Ch 29:19).

Our Hiding Place

Today there are many issues about which one can be concerned—economic slump, housing bust, oil crisis, America at war, and the list goes on. To be sure, this seems to be the confluence of more potential worries than any other period of my lifetime. But then I also just finished Corrie Ten Boom’s Hiding Place. In it the idea is put forth that for the Christian, there is no place on earth that is safer than any other place on earth. This truth is difficult to fathom in Corrie’s context—first, the terrifying, constant fear of being caught by the Nazis in Holland, then (after she is caught) the horrendous, dark, cold treatment and environment of the extermination camp. And yet the truth held fast.

If this is the case in one of the darkest of times of human existence, surely it is the case in 21st century America. But given our expected standard of living, many economists would have us fill our minds with anxiety and fear as they train us to expect certain, comforts, safety nets, and financial returns. Could it be that God wants us to find our security not in financial securities but in eternal securities? Could it be that we have so surrounded ourselves with earthly comforts that there is no longer any room in our hearts to long for heavenly comforts? And could it be that we are so secure in our vocations, our 401(k) balances and IRAs that we no longer need to trust God?

It is a scary thought, but I believe that a season of intense economic and physical suffering would be good for me, for the American church, and for our country. Maybe then for the first time in life many would find what is the one true and safe hiding place.

Why Confessions?

March 19, 2008

In chapter five of Augustine’s Confessions, he writes

Narrow is the mansion of my soul; enlarge Thou it, that Thou mayest enter in. It is ruinous; repair Thou it. It has that within which must offend Thine eyes; I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it? Or to whom should I cry, save Thee?

I would never compare myself with St. Augustine, but there are three things I love about the way Augustine writes. First, he knows that he is broken. He is deeply aware of how infinitesimally small and sinful he is in comparison with the overwhelmingly great and holy God. One of the primary reasons I write is for my children to have a window into my soul as they grow up and sometimes wonder what their dad was really like. And more than anything I want them to know that I am the "chief of all sinners," saved by a great and gracious God.

Second, I love Augustine’s interactive, meditative style. He writes (and prays) as if God is right there in front of him answering back and dialoguing with him. Perhaps this is more the way we should approach God, instead of our often hurried, unidirectional, wish-list prayers. In fact, is it not truly the case that God is right there with us answering, but we do not hear because of the noise in our environment, and in our pace.

Third, I love the simplicity of Augustine’s philosophical musings. Yes, he proved that he can be a careful and meticulous theologian, so respected that many different camps would claim him as their own. But he also has a knack to write deep thoughts about life in very simple terms. And it is such simple reflections on life that often come to my mind and that I wish at times to write down for my children, and anyone else who wishes, to enjoy.