Self-Control

“Be self controlled and alert.”  Peter reminds us three times in his first letter to be self controlled.  His epistle is full of powerful imperatives, based on the indicative of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and it has been too long since I have slowly read through these late letters to the church.  I’ve been a long time in the Psalms, and also reading through slowly from Genesis now in Joshua.  But a small, simple Sunday school class today reminded me of the jewels in 1 Peter.  Four couples, sitting around a round table, wrapping up a study in Peter, sharing highlights, was in fact the highlight of my day. 

We are settling into Ft Bragg together as a family, even if we are still looking for housing.  I don’t know if we’ll be in temporary hotel housing for Christmas, or a friend’s home house-sitting, or Extended Stay, but I’m thrilled we are here, and together.  I have done my Ft Bragg orientation, now I start my unit orientation beginning Tuesday.  Lord, give me a humble confidence as I begin my work here, may I be winsome and as general as possible without compromising my faith or the Gospel of Christ.  Grant Lucibeth health, perseverance, clarity of mind, and enjoyment of the kids.  Open up a home in our base housing neighborhood so we can settle in as quickly as possible and get back to a normal, healthy routine.  Amen!

Taking hold of the land

“Take hold of that life which is truly life!” This command of Paul’s reflects the taking of the land by Israel in the conquest under Joshua.  God has ‘given over’ their enemies into their hands, God has brought them to the verge, God has promised to be with them, yet he says to Joshua, “You are old and advanced in years, and there remains yet very much land to possess.” 

Both of these texts reflect the flow and framework of our lives today.  I’m not as old as Joshua, but I’m getting there.  God has saved me, but there is much sanctifying work that remains.  He has given me eternal life, but he commands me also to ‘take hold of that life which is truly life.’ I take this to mean, live life to the full in every way.  This is not an invitation to hedonism or personal peace and affluence—we have that invitation already from our culture.  It is a call to become who we are, to have our lives reflect in every way the reality of our eternal destiny. It is to root out stubborn remaining sin patterns, hiding in the corner of the land, and destroy them.  It is a call to look sin in the eye, which we may otherwise say, ‘It’s no use,’ and go to battle.  It is a call to say, ‘I’m not so set in my ways that I can no longer change, for God says we are a people who are ever changing from glory to glory.’   It is a call to the gym. To beat our bodies, as Paul says—not aimlessly, but bringing them under subjection of Christ, so that we will be ready, Christ-like, looking forward, eagerly awaiting when our Lord and Savior appears to take us to that life which is truly life. 

My first two days of paperwork and waiting in lines have been incredible.  I doubt anyone has ever said or written that of Fort Bragg in-processing.    The maze of buildings, lines, and paperwork is teaching me to be assertive, ask good questions, follow up, and not back down.  These betray one corner of my own indwelling sin that God is dealing with at this stage.  It is difficult and challenging, but exciting to shine the light on it, and go to work.

I will bring my family Saturday to join me finally at Ft Bragg.  God, give us wisdom on temporary housing, and open up base housing quickly for us to get settled and to get in healthy routines together again as a family.  God give us perfect neighbors—perfectly suited for us to encourage as believers, and to reach out to and love for those unbelievers.

Arrived

I finished training and have arrived at Ft. Bragg. Last week's banquet was incredible, but not because I helped coordinate it.  I feel as if God has given me a heightened ability to be myself and to be comfortable in my own skin.  I was more relaxed at the banquet than any other formal occasion I can remember. Graduation was Friday which was equally enjoyable--but not as relaxing because precision and stress were added.  I'll travel back to Charlotte Saturday in a small U-Haul to pick up the family and our belongings there.

Praise God that I've come to Ft Bragg from training with another friend, who is also in the PCA.  Especially so because he could pick me up when my car broke down tonight. We will have 'in-processing' for a week or so (paperwork, medical, dental), then I'll get to work.  So much to learn, so much unknown, but one day at a time, and God will take care of us all the way.

What an incredible adventure, what a life transition. God, give strength, wisdom, health, humility, boldness, and faithfulness to your calling.  God, strengthen Lucibeth with her health issues, anxiety, fears, shepherding of children's hearts, packing up the apartment; mature our kids, may they love and serve one another, and may you draw them to yourself.

Last Week

This is the last week.  Training has been so intense, there has been much sweat, some tears...no blood I guess.  But lots of bonding.  Last week was the Capstone, a week in the field, at a mock forward operating base, putting into practice all we have learned.  We went on a convoy and were hit by explosive devices, we had casualties, we practiced first aid, we counseled soldiers, and we briefed commanders.  We cleaned the latrines, and went on guard duty late at night.  The other Chaplains and myself have a sense that we have learned enough, we still have lots to learn, but we are ready to move on and put into practice all that we have done the  last 3 months. 

Lucibeth comes to join me this week for a Spouses Seminar and Banquet, the graduation Friday.  Next Monday I'll drive to Ft Bragg to sign in and do piles of paperwork, find some temporary lodging, and bring my family over the next week.  We'll be there until our on-base housing is ready for us, probably in 30-60 days. 

I am excited, and a little nervous.  I'm incredibly thankful God has gotten me through this season.  I'm amazed and thankful I have been mostly healthy throughout, as I've seen many peers go down for a time with colds, flu, or pulled hamstrings.  I have a strong sense that I am not only in physical training, but that I'm in spiritual training--God working on specific areas of my life in ways perfectly suited for the military.   He is also working on Lucibeth, causing her to trust in him more where she may have leaned on me in the past.  Praise God. 

Capstone

Tomorrow early we set off on a road march to a mock Forward Operating Base on Fort Jackson.  There we will put into practice all we have learned in a simulated battle situation.  We will have much to carry, and 5 miles to march in, and back out four days later.

Then back for banquet, lots of administrative out-processing, and graduation.  Then LOTS OF MOVE details: driving to Bragg alone, finding temp lodging for family, moving them the next weekend, finding storage for our Charlotte belongings, waiting for our home to come available hopefully in 1-2 months, then moving our household goods from storage in FL.

Pray for Lucibeth and her health, for our kids, for teachable opportunities and patience, and shepherding hearts, adventurous spirits, and closeness to one another, and to God through Christ.

Nothing greater for a man

I finished admin work late tonight, after a long day. A short night then early pt. I just reflected that I can't believe its Friday already. That hasn't happened in a while. Praise God for enjoyment of work, to see fam tomorrow, and to see some old, dear friends from FL. 

Death, where is your sting? Life, where is your sting?

1 Corinthians reminds us that if Christ has not been raised, then our faith is useless and we are still in our sin. But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead!  This evening we go on a short field trip to USC Med School's gross anatomy lab.  The idea is that our instructors do not want our first experience with death and dismemberment to be on the battle field.  A good friend took me to this lab years ago, and I remember the surreal experience of cold, clammy skin.   This thought makes my role in the Army more real and sobering.  Yet, in Christ, there is no fear of death and dying.

Scotty Smith reminded me recently in a prayer that for those who have no fear of dying, we also have no fear of living, and really living life to the full.  Army training continues to be excellent.  We are now deeply into counseling soldiers in resilience, against suicide, marriage counseling, how to pick a partner and the like.  But as I learn, I am applying many Godly principles to myself, and I'm experiencing more freedom from past ways of thinking.  And more freedom to really live in joy, and not in fear.  Even some 'secular' methods have common grace insights, training us to help Soldiers be more healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I guess in the process I'm plundering the Egyptians for my own use, and am very thankful.

Reunions

I drove home this past weekend for another sweet visit with the family.  Training continues to go well, and most aspects are now very enjoyable, as we have gotten into a routine and have learned the ropes, and as the leadership have lightened up...a bit.  I am now a squad leader, and also essentially the class social director.  I'll take the lead on the year-end banquet, and frequent birthday celebrations.  We are into classes on counseling, which are too short, but helpful.

I am blessed that I can drive to Charlotte most weekends. Some classmates have not seen their families for two months now.  But even after one week of separation, I eagerly anticipated holding my wife and kids in my arms.  I reflected fondly on the kids' growth and development, how fast they are changing, I prayed for them, I couldn't wait to be with them.   I shed some tears just listening to music that we loved and had listened to often together as a family.

As sweet as that reunion was this weekend, our reunion with Jesus will be infinitely sweeter.  That reunion will be in a state of absolute perfection.  He will make all things right, he will wipe away all our sins, he will love us perfectly, he will embrace us in his arms.  Often it is difficult to look forward to heaven because our eyes are so fixed on this world.  But earthly reunions give me a little better glimpse, and help me to say, "Come Lord Jesus, come."

Hump Day

Last Wednesday was double Humpday, the middle of the week, and the middle of our training.  It is very enjoyable now, as we are more used to the early morning PT, which I enjoy, and we are in a 'battle rhythm,' in the groove of the typical daily and weekly schedule.  As we get more specific to chaplain training now it is encouraging us to look forward to our assignments late December, fast approaching.   I get the sense that our assignments are up in the air to some extent--whether I will in fact be assigned to an MP battalion, or even Ft Bragg.  But as Lucibeth reminded me this weekend during a sweet visit, "A mosquito won't land on your nose unless God put it there."  He is in utter and complete control of all things, where I go, who I meet, Lucibeth's health, our kids' schooling, where we are assigned, whether and when I am deployed.  He is also moving all things to a final Day--which we are to eagerly anticipate, where he will make all things right, restore all things, reconcile all things, make us who know him like him, where we will be together forever in paradise!

Military Direct

'Military Direct' is a main tenant of the Army writing style.  Give me the bottom line up front, keep it short, be direct, get it done.  This does not only apply to writing, but also to every day interaction, tasks, teamwork, and all things interpersonal while on the job.  There is no beating around the bush, there is no time for touchy feely.

I'm being considered for the XO (Executive Officer) position for the class.  This person has to use military direct style in passing on the Class Leader's commands to the staff and class.   This is not my natural style (maybe in writing, but not in relationships), but it is an area where I have wanted to grow and develop.  God is at work doing something, in both me, and Lucibeth.  Pray that--no matter what--we would rise to the tests and challenges that he is placing in our lives, that we would respond by faith, that we would be strong and courageous, that we would know that the Lord our God goes with us wherever we go. 

Workout

Praise God from whom all blessings flow, that though he takes us through deep, deep valleys, a mountaintop is always ahead and ultimately promised.  Life is a series of valleys and peaks, followed by the ultimate peak of everlasting life with him. 

“You’re in the Army now!” That was what one instructor yelled at the class, in a tone that necessitated regret at the beginning of the first month of basic training (for Chaplains).  But while the first month was grueling, the second month is proving just as rewarding. 

Army does training extremely well, and Chaplain training is a workout for mind, body and soul.  Paul talks about this life as training: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?...Therefore I box, and discipline my body, and keep it under control.”   To think of this life as training ground for the next is incredibly freeing and encouraging.  It promotes an eternal perspective.  It likens our suffering in this present life to the suffering one experiences in a gym, or during a long run.  It is painful, but it has a purpose, it is good for us, and it will be over soon.  Somehow, how we train in this life is preparing us for the next.  God, through his Spirit, is preparing for us bodies, minds, souls perfectly fitted and suited for his presence.  And what I am going through today is part of that process. May he grant us such an eternal perspective, and the perseverance to see it through to the end.

...to do you good in the end.

In Deuteronomy 8, Moses speaks of the desert wanderings, “He humbled you and let you hunger…”  Later he says that God did this “that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end.”  Isn’t this incredible, that here God tells us explicitly, with example, that a trial is placed there, particularly in our lives, deliberately by God, for the purpose of doing us good?

I don’t have physical hunger today, or any physical needs right now, but I do have mental needs and emotional shortcomings.  Army training is incredibly well done and at a high level.  I am learning some things that I should have learned years ago, like what are the steps to solve problems, how to lead teams.  I’m also asked to do some things that I’m having trouble learning, like how to think quickly on my feet.  I am mentally and emotionally ‘hungry,’ or deficient in some of these areas.  Thank you God that you have brought these good trials into my life for very specific purposes, and to do me good in the end. 

These two weeks are all about how to be a proficient staff officer, serving the battalion commander alongside peers.  But tomorrow is a break where we climb another tower and face physical obstacles.  This, I love, but please pray specifically for safety for our class, that no one would fall or get hurt, and that some who have a fear of heights would be able to overcome by faith.

Staying on the Rails

Friday marked the end of the general Army training portion, and the most physically demanding phase of Chaplain training.  Lucibeth and kids arrived just in time for the mini-ceremony and marching competition.  I took the kids bowling Friday afternoon on base, and we drove back to Charlotte for the weekend.  We hiked Anne Springs Friday morning, and the kids (and I) had a blast on a swinging bridge there.  We had sweet worship and fellowship Sunday at Uptown Church, our old (and new again) home church.  Then the White Pearl (Accord) wouldn't start, so I drove the minivan back to Columbia today, leaving Lucibeth to deal with a repair.  She is up to the task and is doing a phenomenal job with the household and kids.

Before we were released Friday, we were given an extensive safety brief and reminders of our handbook as to the rules to follow while on leave.  There are consequences for breaking the rules, which brought to mind a Psalm I've been camping out in, Ps 119:32: "I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."  Lucibeth and I talked this weekend about how God's commands are 'Laws of Love' (thanks Phil Woods)--they are a reflection of his good character, and they are for our good.  When we pursue him, and follow him, and live according to his good principles and laws for our lives, we are generally blessed.  But when we run off the rails, if you will, we get stuck in the muck and mire until we turn back to him in repentance and faith.  This rail illustration was used in Sunday School today as it relates to training our kids, but it is just as powerful for us adults.  Thank you God, for loving us enough to give us guideposts, rails, laws of love by which to love.  Thank you for your infinite patience for when we jump the tracks--often willingly.  I am sure this truth will be often used in discussions with young soldiers who are stuck deep in the mud, far from the tracks, and yet a moment from being lifted out and rescued by our great God.

Ebenezer

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer, for he said, "Till now the Lord has helped us."

Today marks the last day of our first phase of Army training.  It has been incredibly challenging. There have been times early on that I asked myself, "What have I gotten myself into?"  Now I see the purposes, now I see progress, unity, strengthening, learning.

How often do we get through a tough trial, and rather than praise God, rather than give him thanks, rather than point to him as the source of strength, we immediately go on and start worrying about whatever is next?  Thank you God for your strength to get through this, and many other trials in life, thank you for carrying me, thank you for working in me, often through my trials, to give me the spiritual workout I need to precisely prepare me for your presence one day very soon. 

Another Week

We just finished our third and most physically challenging week.  It included night time land navigation and low-crawling under live and simulated fire. We have had short nights, hours of drill, and death by power-point at the most sleepy part of the day.  Still, it is rewarding, and encouraging when I have a chance to come up for air, like this afternoon.  The class enjoys sweet devotional and prayer time together, albeit brief. 

I preached in class a 12 minute sermon as I would preach in chapel and received positive feedback.  But the experience of the chaplains with prior service tell us that our main activity will be counseling.  As we get to know soldiers and build trust, they will come to us with a myriad of issues.  The numbers and scope I imagine is overwhelming, but I'm looking forward with finishing and diving in nonetheless.

This coming Friday marks the end of the initial phase, which is the most difficult.  Thanks for prayers for endurance, patience, health, and especially for family back 'home' in Charlotte.

New Day

Yesterday was incredibly long, starting with 5 a.m. PT, ending with 4 hours of drill/marching training in the sun. I came back to my room and went right to sleep, maybe before 8 p.m.  Today was not quite so long with not quite so much drill.  And fun team-building exercises in the middle (get the team across this expanse, using only these boards and this piece of rope, etc.).  I'm the platoon song-leader, which is fun, and a road guard for when we cross a road in formation.  That means I need to run ahead, stop traffic, then catch up when the class gets past.  It gets really fun with several roads in quick succession.  The class is bonding and having fun together, despite the physical and emotional challenges.  Part of the strain is to allow us to identify with the soldiers we will soon be supporting.  They go through the gas chamber, so guess what--we're doing that tomorrow.  Thanks for your prayers, and for my family back home!

Health

I'm so thankful for full health and energy starting today!  After a week of mostly briefings, diversity, ear protection, sexual harassment training, we are now fully in the groove. Early morning physical training, now breakfast, then on to IED recognition (improvised explosives).  The class is coming together despite evidence to the contrary in the form of yelling and pushups.   Pray that we would all remember that we are chaplains and ministers still and now, even while in army training. Pray for Lucibeth who is having to do much more around the house without me.

First Week

The first week has been extremely challenging but good.  It was made tougher by a head cold which mercifully seems to be going away without infection.  And by the news that I can't see the family at all the first month. Pray for Lucibeth and the kids to lean on God and each other in my absence! The days have been jam packed with shots, dental, seminars, picking up gear, haircuts, more seminars, marching, 10 minute meals, 3 minute showers and so on.  But at a few times we have had sweet fellowship with each other, many of the chaplains being believers. Please pray also for my endurance, and that I would not fear man.  Off to Sat a.m. Physical Training and Drill!

My prayer the last few months has been:

- May I have the privilege of early morning jogs with other soldiers
- May I have the opportunity to sleep in tents with other soldiers
- May I have the joy of sharing the gospel with a soldier going into battle.

I've learned that I will likely be the chaplain for an MP brigade attached to the 82nd Airborne.  Probably not much camping. And not that I want to go to battle, but probably also no foxhole conversions in this assignment.  At least not literally. 

We are very prone to romanticize certain settings, environments, and opportunities, and so often real life does not match up to our ideals.  But if Paul can consider it joy to share Christ in a prison, how much more ought we be thankful to live our our lives for Christ in whatever situation he ordains?  Whate're my God ordains is right his holy will abideth! Our great God and Father sits in heaven and does whatever he pleases. 

Getting Ready

I am settling the family in Charlotte, NC, as I prepare to embark on Army Chaplain training this Sunday in Columbia, SC for 13 weeks.  We had a pleasant, slow drive north, via Deleon Springs, which I last visited as an eight year old.  The move has been harder than I imagined with older children, one now a teenager as of my first day of training.

We have cobbled together a temporary apartment and made it a home.  We are connecting with some old friends.  We are attending what was our home church while in seminary which we dearly love.  The kids are enrolled in a home school co-op and Lucibeth already is reconnecting with old friends.  Still, separation will be tough. She is still sore from surgery, and the kids are struggling behaviorally in large part due to the upheaval in their lives.  They don't have all their things, and toys, and often seem discontent. We are trying to be more intentional about lovingly confronting them with their idols and the gospel, rather than trying to quickly fix their discontent to make parenting easier. 

With all the challenges I still very much look forward to getting started. It is time after a blessed break to dive back into study, ministry, and now physical activity as well.  A friend has trained me well and I am in good shape, with a slightly inflamed knee tendon.

Many thanks for your prayers, especially for my family while we are separated. 

Thank You

I have torn envelopes, and lists--in the midst of half-packed boxes, and I'm losing track of thank you's I owe.  I am overwhelmed by the number of folks who have expressed an appreciation for our ministry in Sarasota, brought us meals, expressed concern for Lucibeth's health, and offered to help (her surgery went very well, and she is recovering with normal fatigue and nausea).  We are dearly loved and it is a testament to those around us. 

I plan on resurrecting this blog as we move and embark on the new adventure of Army Chaplaincy.  Some chaplains blogged every day during their training, or even created videos of their activities.  If you are interested in reading about or seeing what the training entails you can google or utube the abbreviation CH-BOLC. I will be too busy learning Army acronyms to write every day. But I will send updates and reflections as often as possible. 

Thanks to all for their prayers, love and concerns, we love and will miss you all!