Counseling

 

I guess an "abundance of counselors" in Scripture does not mean trained therapists, but of these I have had my fair share (Prov 11:14).   A couple of my counselors over the years were great, most were good, some were ok, and a few were not.  One told me I was not very good at being a counselee, which was true.  Some years ago, I went with a loved one to see a counselor; not for them but for us.  I had fallen into a deep, dark hole that took some years to crawl out of, and--wouldn't you know it--it impacted our relationship.  No matter what part of the problem is yours, it is all too easy to blame the other.  But look around the world; can we not all agree with G. K. Chesterton that you and I are at least part of the problem?

Usually, one benefit of seeing a counselor with a spouse or child is simply the presence of a third party, or it may be learning new communication tools and insights.  But there is one benefit that is almost absolute and universal, one that makes it worthwhile regardless of the help given.

The priceless benefit is that your loved one may think to themselves, "Huh, I guess he/she must really love me.  He did some research, made a call, set up an appointment, took the time, pushed through the discomfort of asking me to go along, and in the process is humbly admitting that he/she needs help themselves.  And with all this, they would gladly drop $100 for just the hope and possibility that our relationship might improve.  

Even if the counselor is worthless the above may be a game-changer.  I'll bet many humble, awkward drives together to the counselor's office have soften hearts.  God, help me humble myself in your sight (James 4:10).  Lift my loved ones and me up that we would move closer together as we are drawn closer to you.  

In our case the counselor was really helpful.  Or was it the drive?