Third Wheel

Last week I had a surreal moment, finding myself laying down in a field at night in the middle of nowhere, Ft Bragg.  I had visited a company 'in the field,' spending a day and night with them during their training exercises.  One chaplain had lamented to me some months ago that he often feels like a third wheel when with his Soldiers, not being able to do everything they are doing, often just standing around.  I can relate, as I had stood around my Soldiers for a few hours while they waited and took turns firing their pistols at targets. 

But I also have been told, that it is often simply the Chaplain's presence, especially when they are dirty, or cold, or away from home, that gives them encouragement.   That was the case this day and night, as many Soldiers, especially officers communicated to me they appreciated me being there, and that no former chaplain had ever come out like that over night.  Knowing this is true, I seek to embrace being a Third Wheel, trusting that it will bring about good, and opportunities to develop relationships over time as Soldiers grow in their trust of me.

During a period of down time that night, I took a walk, and just rested in a field, stared up at the stars, and recounted Ps 19--"The heavens declare the glory of God..."

Thank you God, for your beauty, as expresses so clearly through creation.  Thank you for the opportunity to counsel a number of Soldiers last week.  Thank you for the chance to debrief with a group who had responded to a traumatic incident

Thank you for the answer to prayer, in the chance to communicate the gospel to someone who thought Christianity was all about being good.  Thank you that it is first and foremost about Jesus being good for us, and on our behalf!  Please give me more opportunities to be an explicitly Christian Chaplain.  Please help me continue to overcome my fear of man.  Please grant me opportunities to assist, and advise my command team, building a relationship with them as well.

Nothing can hinder the Lord

"Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many, or by few."  I read this, one of my favorite quotes this morning as I slowly work through the Bible-in-a-year in 2 1/2 years.  Thank you God for another mini snow-storm, for cancelled work, for sleeping-in kids, and for several hours of quiet and a rare, unhurried, long chunk of time to read and pray.  May they be more frequent.

These words were spoken by Jonathan as he attacked a Philistine garrison, and yet there is a spiritual meaning as well:  Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether through Ted Hamm, or Billy Graham."  Do I believe this? I do believe, Lord, help my unbelief!  I also read of Israel's hard hearts.  I also read of God filling David with his spirit after the beautiful transition from the darkness of 1 Sam 15 to the hope of 1 Sam 16.  I also read this morning, "The battle belongs to the Lord." 

God, I am a mere vessel, a jar of clay.  Fill me with your Spirit and the powerful truths of the Gospel, awake as in days of old to soften hard hearts; in wrath, remember mercy; open blind eyes to the hopelessness, the waywardness, the emptiness of lives without you.   Help me to be faithful as your servant, to be ready to give a reason for the hope within, as I re-commit to memory the gospel summary in Two Ways to Live, and open deaf ears to hear and respond to the gospel.  Grant me opportunities to be an explicitly Christian Chaplain, and not just a really nice guy. 

I pray that my car would make it to Pawley's Island this weekend to join my family who has gone ahead, I pray you would help me continue to learn the acronyms of the Army, to understand the 'battle rhythm' of training, to understand the training calendar of our unit so I can find out where groups of Soldiers are and can join them as they train.  Thank you for the privilege to pray for the Soldiers who went on the jump last week, and for the two scared Soldiers I was able to minister to more specifically.  Give me the words to pray as I get ready to pray at a change of command ceremony next week.  Help me to be a comforting, encouraging presence, and much, much more.  

"Let him do what is good in his eyes."

"He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes."  This is what Eli said to Samuel upon the news that his sons would be judged and his line would end.  Praise God that my lost cell phone was turned in today.  I don't know the circumstances yet, but I'm thrilled to have it back.  In the grand scheme of things, this is a very small detail and a minor nuisance.  And yet in the moment, it is a big headache, and a temporary crisis.  I don't know why God allowed that to happen.  Maybe it was so that I, in brokenness, could remind my kids that I am forgetful, it is in my blood, and unfortunately it is in theirs too.  And that when I scold them about putting things away in the right place, and not setting things down in random places, it is out of a recognition of my own sin, and it is something they will also have to work on. 

Sometimes it is issues much bigger than a lost phone, in this case, the loss of children, where we are challenged and called to say, "Let him do what is right in his own eyes."   Outside of Christ, such losses are sheer terror.  Yet hidden in him, we can trust that what he deems good is also for our good.

Praise God for more and more opportunities to interact with Soldiers, that most recognize me as Chaplain, that some are coming by asking for prayer, that I have been invited to pray for a unit before their jump tomorrow.  God, give me the strength, courage, and the opportunities, to be distinctly Christian Chaplain, not just a Chaplain, and not just another really nice guy.  

Settling In

Last week we got out to the shooting range to hang out with Soldiers before and after they practiced on 240 and 249 machine guns.  One told me he had attended a marriage retreat the previous year, and their marriage was better for a while, but they are now stuck in a rut again.  He said he was thinking of coming to see me.  That scenario is a big part of my hopes for Chaplaincy, and it was exciting to hear him voice that. 

I have met with a number of Soldiers already, I thought it would take longer, and I shouldn't flatter myself that I'm so approachable, etc.  Truth is, there are many with huge problems, and sometimes I have to nod understandably while being really surprised inside. 

I need to learn and practice how to ask permission for sharing, and verbalizing my faith in that setting. And I need to learn the public settings, and how to go about being more of an explicitly Christian Chaplain.  God, grant those opportunities, and grant me courage to take them.  Grant sensitivity to your Holy Spirit to feel your opening up opportunities.  Bless my Chaplain Assistant, and help me to lead and direct her.  Help us with the last 10% of moving in which is always so hard to finish, and may be fully utilize our beautiful home for hospitality, love and the furtherance of your kingdom.

Broken World

I am reminded that we live in a broken world.  Exercising yesterday afternoon, I left my (new) phone on a treadmill and it was gone last night.  Signs in locker rooms should have already let me know, but somehow it is surprising when it happens to you, with a sinking, sick feeling inside.  It could be worse, thank God it was not my wallet, but still...

After 10 days gracious leave to unpack (most) boxes and hang (a few) pictures, I'm back to work tomorrow.  I'm reminded that I was made to work in the image of a working God.  I loved extra time off with my family, but I'm so ready to dive in, roll up my sleeves, and start ministering to soldiers.  Thank you, God, for a fresh start, a new vocation that seems to fit my gifts so well--may it be so.  God, strengthen Lucibeth for the task of homemaking in a not-quite-set up home, and to focus on hearts, faith, and character more than adding, writing and neatness.  Draw our fast-growing kids to yourself, may they influence others around them more than they are influenced themselves.  Help us to boldly shepherd them through a world with such darkness that we couldn't pretend to protect them from.   And may we speak and be salt and light to neighbors and Soldiers around us always.

Salt of the Earth

"You are the salt of the earth," Mt 5:13.  We are in our home, which we love, unpacking boxes, trying to organize the chaos, enjoying 10 days' leave to settle in.  Some had said to us, "Don't live on base, people are right on top of you, and you have no space."  But we love it.  This afternoon probably a dozen couples were out in front of their homes chatting, kids biking up and down the street, or riding scooters, or shooting bows from arrows.   This is one of the things I love most--a lively street.  After all, salt can't be far from what it is supposed to flavor, enhance and preserve.  It is distinct from, but becomes almost a part of the food itself, it is so close.  It is like living in community, diving in, getting dirty in the messiness of life, laughing, playing, talking, eating together. And it will be supporting, crying with, praying for two women across the street whose husbands are deploying in a couple weeks.  This is why we are here, and I love it.  God, help us in our home church decision, help the kids get acclimated and settled in.  Help them to make good friends--some to reach out to, some to be encouraged by.  Please help Lucibeth to have more good days than bad, and keep us close together, and close to you always, Amen.

Ready to Ramp Up

Thus far I have only had a chance to interact with Soldiers on superficial levels, which has still been enjoyable:  Asking them about vehicle maintenance, sighting guns, walking around meeting them, playing volleyball... But I have heard a story from another Chaplain about a couple that wanted to restore their marriage, and his sharing with them the foundation for marriage in Scripture, the effect of the fall on marriage, and how a right relationship with God through Christ is the ultimate solution to moving toward healthy relationships.  I look forward to getting to know Soldiers well enough for them to trust me and come to me for such help.  This week starts my first real week of work, with normal schedule, everyone back from leave, regular weekly staff meetings, and regular training schedules for the troops, where I will get out even more, find out where the Soldiers are, and go to be with them in their work.  Sometimes I can feel like a third wheel, but I'm reminded from training that my very presence can be an encuragement to Soldiers who are discouraged, tired, or cold.

We move into our home this week, bringing our large shipment of household goods up from Florida thanks to professional movers, and a small shipment out of local storage, thanks to new friends yet to be asked.  We are encouaged, settling in, getting to know the base and our way around, finding the skate park, hosting my mother for a couple days' visit, and enjoying visiting local churches.  God is good for giving us such a long break emotionally and relationally and vocationally during this transition.  I know that things at work will pick up significantly this week and beyond, and I feel well rested and ready for the challenge.