Everyone has faith in something—not just religious people. I appreciate that Tim Keller relieves us with the converse: everyone has doubts too. A Christian who doesn’t doubt, wrestle, and struggle with his faith is in denial, since doubt is part of the very essence of faith.

I love Stephen in Acts, he has to be my favorite character in the Bible (ok, second favorite). It is written that he is a man “full of faith and of the Holy Spirit.” It is a daily prayer of mine that God would help my unbelief (give me faith); to this I’m now adding that he would fill me with the Holy Spirit. I too would like to be a man whom detractors could not stand up against because of wisdom or the Spirit within me. When others look at me I would like them also to see something like the face of an angel. I would like to boldly proclaim the faith as one completely unafraid of the response. I would like to be one, even in the face of death itself, who has so fixed his eyes on things above that I see my God and not my enemies. And most of all, I would like to be one who can say under the most severe persecution, perhaps even by friends or family, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

A young man’s life is so dark, he doesn’t know where to turn, he doesn’t know what to do because of a relational breakup. A lady is distraught because a close family member is seriously ill and is all the way across the country—right before Christmas. A good friend just lost his job, and will likely lose his house—just after the birth of their first child. Christian or not, we all have periods of darkness and despair in our lives. And even those who trust in God through Christ often wonder where he is in those times, or how he can relate.

In an old war movie, a soldier has lost his leg in battle and is recovering in a field hospital. I don’t remember all the details, but he is furious. Furious at his commanding officer standing in front of him who sent him into battle. Furious because he can’t live, he can’t survive like this. This is the reaction in Isaiah 8 of those who “become enraged and, looking upward, curse their king and their God. Yet, Hebrews 4:15 tells us that “we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. How in the world can Jesus help with a broken relationship? A loved one walking through the shadow of death? A lost job, home, or limb?

In the movie, the commanding officer was silent throughout this tirade. But at a certain point, he reached down and pulled up his own pant leg to reveal a prosthetic limb. It has been years since I watched this (I will again soon), but all I remember was the silence and understanding from the recently injured soldier. Here he was complaining to someone who had been through the same trial, yet had never once complained. If his leader survived through this, he could too.

What we forget is that Jesus didn’t just lose friend or house or job or limb. He lost his life—for our sakes. And he suffered infinitely beyond what we could imagine by taking the full wrath of God on his shoulders. Jesus suffered through, and conquered death that we might be freed from its power. Now, no matter the circumstance for those who trust in him, we can look to him our guide and counselor, we can look to him who suffered far worse, we can look to him who will walk through our trial with us, and when we can no longer walk, we can look to him who will carry us home.

White Man Can't Jump

This week at the grocery store I couldn’t quite see the contents on the sign for aisle six, so I jumped up over aisle five for a better look and found what I needed: pasta. I immediately thought: “I wouldn’t have done that a week ago. Even then, my vertical was only a few inches, but when I get a sinus or chest infection, I trudge through life as if going through the motions. I don’t do anything extra—I don’t want to do anything at all, least of all jump up in the air. For some reason, God puts me through the ringer when I am under the weather.

Psalm 119:71 tells us, “It was good for me to be afflicted.” I believe the past tense is indicated here for a reason. When King David was right in the middle of suffering, when I am a sick zombie, when any of us are in the middle of a trial, it is difficult to recognize any goodness. We want it to be over, we pray for it to be over, we sometimes get angry at God.

Here, it seems as if David is looking back at a trial, contemplating the outcome, the consequences, and what he learned, and he says, “It was good for me to be afflicted.” Can we not often do the same thing, though our attention spans are short, and we are quick to move back into the routine of life—speeding by the lessons of God’s sweet providence.
I realized this last month, I somehow feel more compassionate and loving toward others when I am sick. Perhaps it is because God is stripping away my activity, my works, my service which pops the bubble of my pride and shows me that I am no better than anyone else.

Father, show me how good it is that you afflict me. And not only after the fact, but may it be that in the midst of suffering I can sense your hand, your love, your protection, your good purposes, and say, “It is good for me to be afflicted.

What is it that allows me to submit to my leaders? I have had disagreements with Bush, and I will have disagreements with Obama. What allows us to submit to them, respect them, and pray for them? Eph 1:15-23 tells us in part: “His incomparably great power is for us who believe, even the power which God exerted in Christ by raising him from the dead. Christ has been raised far above all rule and authority, power and dominion."

We have that same power (in Christ) and will be raised and seated with him. Yet this is not just a future but also a present reality (v. 22?)! It is as if while we are under earthly authorities at the same time we are seated with Christ, hidden in him, far above all rule and authority on earth.

Tonight little Benjamin woke up scared. We have a relatively small house, but it seems like such a long walk across at 3 a.m. I comforted him, patted him on the head, and made the long trek back. Right when my head hit my pillow I heard his cry begin again. I thought, "A pat on the head won't do this trick. This is a job for a midnight snack."

In one way we are like Benjamin—as soon as we receive comfort for one ailment, we are busy complaining about another. I have my own little problems that seem so big to me—jet lag from India, another cold-turned-infection, perhaps brought on from the travel. Lower back pain—strangely tied to fighting off the infection, and now a sleepless night thanks to my son—and perhaps the caffeine of chocolate cake.

1 Thessalonians teaches us, "Be joyful always, pray continually, in everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It was that "in Christ Jesus" that caught my attention this morning as I was reluctantly reading Scripture while feeling sorry for myself.
How in the world can I be joyful right now? Because I am in Christ Jesus. Why should I pray? Because I am in Christ Jesus. And how can I be thankful to God—even for my suffering? Because I am in Christ Jesus. Being in Christ Jesus is like having a bubble of protection surrounding you. Anything that gets in can only get in by God's explicit permission, and that which gets in can only be for your good if you are in Christ Jesus.

Where is the Power?

I read Acts 1:8 this morning—“…and you shall receive power.” I thought, “God, why don’t I feel this power? Actually, some days I feel downright weak and worthless.” I thought of a friend who recently told me he generally thinks very poorly of himself. He is probably also wondering where this power is. But I was also reminded of how Christ experienced this power. He who is God incarnate was homeless, scorned by many, and abandoned by friends late in life. Jesus was fully human—could it be that he was even tempted to wonder where the power of God was, as he was deserted and led to the cross?

I thought also of Martin Luther, one of the fathers of the reformation. He did so much for the church, but I’m sure that in his lifetime he did not feel like much of a hero. Who knows what problems he suffered from—depression, for one, I am sure. He locked himself in his room for days on end, he once went more than a year without changing clothes. I am realizing that this power given to believers will not always (or often?) come to us in the form we desire. This is God’s economy. He who is last shall be first. What seems down is up. What seems the road to humiliation will lead to exaltation.

In a strange way, when we feel poorly about ourselves it is actually an expression of pride—as if to say, “What I think of myself is more important than what God thinks of me.” And this is where faith comes in. It is not easy to believe in that which we do not feel and that which we cannot see. While God rejoices over us and counts us as holy and blameless, we experience insecurity, addictions and fear. But the amazing thing is that he never quits and he never gives up on us. I believe in his love a little bit one day, a lot the next, not at all the next…then I realize he is still there. I confess my unbelief, try to bask in his love, while praying at the same time that he would help my unbelief. I am so glad that it is not the strength of our faith, but the presence of our faith that matters—no matter how weak at times.

Americans are always looking for…something else. If we have an apartment, we want a house. If we have a house, we're looking for a bigger one. A better job, a more exciting boyfriend or girlfriend, a longer vacation. I’m struck by how often we look to the government (or a particular party) to provide for us. I’m old enough now to look back and see how the pendulum often swings in government—to this party one year, to that party another, always looking for something better, something different, something else. I wonder if the opposing slogan in four or eight years will be “change.”

Some people today are ecstatic and shedding tears of joy over Obama, others have a deep sense of dread and despair. Either way, Psalm 146 can help temper either our excitement or dread: “Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them-- the LORD, who remains faithful forever.”

In a sense, there is nothing new under the sun, every leader in history has come to the same end (except one), the pendulum swings again, and he or she is replaced with another. So, whether you are elated or dejected today, look to the one who remains constant, who will not let you down, who is creator of all and is sovereign over all.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13:8